Clean Jokes

Thejendra Sreenivas asked:


It has often been said that everyone likes humor and laughter on our planet. Well maybe not everyone, but almost every person who is normal will like humor provided someone else makes them laugh. And you can always enjoy reading a funny article or book written by somebody. But have you ever considered writing a funny article yourself, or maybe even write a funny book sometime? Even if you know how to write regular articles and books the very thought of writing something funny and showing it to others can turn your blood cold or make your hair stand straight. There are plenty of writers on our planet who can write countless topics in a serious, straightforward manner. But very few know how to add one magical component into their writing to make it more palatable and enjoyable. And that magical component is humor. If you want your writing to be enjoyed by your intended audience then you must add an acceptable dose of clean humor into it. It is the lack of humor that makes most articles and books tasteless even if it contains useful stuff. Writing about any serious topic you are familiar with is perhaps easy, but adding humor to it is very difficult and sometimes even dangerous if you take too many liberties. Hence you must learn some basic rules if you want to write humor and make your stuff enjoyable. And those top secret tips are outlined below.

1. The first rule for anyone who want to write humor is to become bold. Contrary to what most people think humor writers are actually very brave people. You need to develop a thick skin, nerves of steel and become brave slowly day by day. You cannot be funny if you are scared to poke fun at things, issues, people, etc. And you can’t be funny if you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself or lampooning a famous personality. Verbally anyone can be funny, but it takes guts to put the same in writing and let the public read, and maybe the entire world see it. So humorists need a lot of courage to write and publish something funny about an issue, person or a concept.

2. A humorous person has no limit on what he or she can think or write about. You must be able to think in atrocious, ridiculous, crazy, illogical and nonsense terms. Modern management consultants call this thinking out of the box, but I call it old fashioned creativity and humor that has existed from centuries.

3. What is important is that you should make your readers think what you have written is funny. But a person who writes humor you need not look funny, act funny or make goofy antics. You should become a person that nobody would suspect of writing funny and witty stuff. You can be a serious type of person and yet have the ability to write fantastic humor. This adds more spice and an aura of mystery to your personality.

4. Most people think writing humor is simply about saying and writing jokes about other people. But this is only partially true. Top humorists mainly make fun of themselves and not about someone. The best humor is always self directed. Direct the humor towards yourself that way you will not annoy anyone. People will laugh if you make fun of yourself, but they may be outraged if you make fun of them. The most important thing about writing humor is to allow your readers to laugh at you and with you, and then optionally at themselves.

5. Unless your article is for MAD magazine or a pure humor or satire piece with no restrictions, there are various do’s and don’ts that one should follow when writing humor. Don’t use bad language. Don’t make fun of religion, caste, race, physical disabilities, gender or language of anyone. Humor in these areas can start riots on the streets or even start a war. Don’t use real names of people, friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. You will never know how they may get offended. But no one will be offended if you focus on yourself.

6. When writing humor surprise your readers. That is, don’t tell or announce upfront about your funny intention. Don’t tell the reader that they will experience something funny. Let the reader discover that for himself. Use concise, direct and uses simple words that everyone can understand.

7. It is not funny to be always funny. There is a time to be funny and there is a time NOT to be funny. And this is something you need to observe and learn. Something that is extremely funny in one place may not be understood at all in another. Something that is funny on a rowdy football stadium may sound offensive inside a religious place. And in some situations or circumstances you should not indulge in anything funny no matter how irresistible it is to write something hanky panky.

8. A piece of writing can never be final and fully funny in one go. Like a diamond it needs to trimmed, improved and polished as much as possible. You need to review it in terms of using a better sentence, a more mischievous word, rearranging the sentences, modifying to a completely different angle or deleting something that does not seem right, etc. After you think you have finished writing a humor piece revisit it after a few hours or a couple of days. Suddenly you can discover new and better ways of writing the same article that can seem vastly superior to your previous article.

9. Think wild, think crazy but at the same time be moderate so that it does not put anyone, including yourself, in trouble. Often in your enthusiasm words and sentences can flow like a mad river and you may write something horrible that you momentarily think is funny or harmless. But it could be laced with trouble when reviewed carefully. So take care to frequently pause your writing to view it from different angles and from the reader’s perspective. Then you may need to give your writing a haircut and then continue.

10. The final piece of advice is writing humor takes time. To excel in humor is a lifetime job, and is not something that you can learn in a day or two. Don’t think you can read a joke book and start writing funny stuff an hour later. You will have to teach yourself how to be funny. The process is mostly by trial and error, observing other people’s comical situations, mistakes, laughing and applying it on yourself, etc. No one can teach you exactly how to write something funny, but the possibilities of creating humor on anything and everything are limitless.

Jay Speyerer asked:


By all accounts, the late movie cowboy Gene Autry was a fine fellow and a savvy businessman, having owned a record label, a production company, and a baseball team. He was as widely known for his westerns as he was for making a hit song out of “Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer.” He made a ton of “B” westerns in the 40s, and had a TV show in the 50s, all aimed at the kid audience.

Those kids probably didn’t care that Gene wasn’t the greatest actor, and that he seemed to have only two facial expressions, concerned and smiling. He never knew what to do with his hands, so when he wasn’t playing the guitar or punching a bad guy, he hooked his thumbs over his gunbelt. Gene’s acting chops matched his voice, which was less than resonant, kind of nasal and twangy. He could carry a tune as long as it wasn’t very heavy.

Sometimes Gene played his guitar as he sang for an audience visible within the movie, and that made sense in both the real and reel worlds. But sometimes we’d see Gene and his sidekick, Smiley Burnett, riding their horses along some desolate trail west of nowhere, just the two of them, when Gene would abruptly burst into song. Not only did Smiley see nothing odd about this behavior, he didn’t even react to the full (and fully invisible) orchestral accompaniment that Gene seemed to carry around with him. In fact, Smiley even sang along.

Then after the song was over, the two good guys would run into some baddies. A rousing chase and fistfight would follow, with exciting music accompanying the action.

Obviously, both the audience in the story and the audience watching the movie could hear Gene’s guitar when he was playing for them. That’s diegetic or “source” music, a part of the story. And just as obviously, Gene and Smiley could not hear the music when they were chasing and fighting the bad guys. That was non-diegetic music; it was there as dramatic effect for the benefit of the audience. The music Gene sang to while riding along the trail falls into a kind of music limbo.

According to Pauline Reay’s book, “Music in Film: Soundtracks and Synergy,” diegesis is the story world depicted on the screen. We the audience could hear all of the music, but the characters could hear only some of it. I believe the same is true with humor.

Fast-forward fifty years. “Frasier,” starring Kelsey Grammer, was a popular spin-off of “Cheers.” Aside from being a well-written show, it was superbly cast, each actor making us believe in his or her character. One of those splendidly fleshed out characters was Frasier’s über-fussy brother, Niles, played by David Hyde Pierce. Niles was quite the intellectual, like his brother. One day Niles walked into the studio of Frasier’s radio program to show him a rare book he’s just bought. Niles says, “I wanted to show you my copy of ‘Saint Katy, the Virgin,’ in like-new condition.” Frasier replies with a knowing grin, “Yes, well, she’d have to be, wouldn’t she?” Niles smiles, and the audience laughs.

Later in that scene, they learn that their favorite restaurant is closing forever. Niles gets wistful for his eighth birthday party, which had been held at the restaurant, and where he was just as fussy. Niles says wistfully, “Great times. Opening presents, wearing funny hats, sending back the veal Prince Orloff.” Frasier doesn’t smile, but the audience laughs.

Each of those jokes is in a different form. The first one about Saint Katy is diegetic, that is, it takes place in their world and is acknowledged by the characters as being a joke. Niles smiles at Frasier’s remark about the book, just as someone would do in the real world. But the other funny line would not be considered source humor. Niles’ line about sending back the veal was non-diegetic. Frasier did not see it as a joke, only an example of Niles’ personality.

(“Frasier” was one of the few shows I’ve seen where the people in the story laugh at the funny things others in the story say. Compare it to “The Bob Newhart Show,” the one where he plays a psychologist. The characters don’t laugh at each other’s jokes; only the audience does.)

The second “Frasier” joke was character-driven; the first was not. That’s the difference. We the audience could hear all the humor, but the characters could not. Just like the music in Gene Autry’s movies.

Decide what kind of humor you’re using in your stories, both in print and on stage. Is it a joke that other people in the story recognize as such? Or is it character driven humor that blends seamlessly with the world of the story?

If you’re on stage and you tell your audience something self-deprecating and funny about yourself, it should come off as non-diegetic. You should not act as though it’s funny to you; allow the audience to get it on their own. But if you tell them an actual joke – which I don’t recommend unless you’re a trained professional and wearing a helmet – allow the audience to know that you know it’s a joke. Don’t laugh at it, just acknowledge the humor.

And don’t hook your thumbs over your gunbelt.

Jay Speyerer asked:


Humor is a funny thing. Everyone thinks they have a sense of humor, but not everyone is right. You can be an effective speaker even if you don’t have a sense of humor, as long as you don’t try to fake it. The audience can always tell.

On the other hand, if you have been blessed with a good sense of humor, that isn’t enough to be a speaker; you also need a sense of timing. A sense of humor allows you to see the funny aspects of everyday life and the funny relationships between unrelated things. A sense of timing lets you talk about them in a funny way.

We all know what’s funny, but we laugh at wildly different examples. One theory says that some nationalities are funnier than others, but I don’t buy it. I’m German by ancestry and I’ve been known to be amusing, even though you’d probably be hard pressed to come up with a good example of German hilarity. Sure, we have lederhosen and yodeling, but they don’t count because we were serious about those. You might ask how on earth we could be serious about such cultural oddities. I answer with another German tradition: beer.

When aspiring speakers ask me if they can open their presentation with a joke, I suggest that they use humor instead. The term ‘joke’ hits me as being stand-alone and unrelated to a topic or theme. Effective humor is always organic, blending seamlessly with the topic and the audience.

Are isolated jokes funny? Sure they are. The vaudeville comedian Henny Youngman was famous for his disconnected one-liners. “My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.” But funny isn’t the only criterion; for humor to work within a presentation, it has to be effective, appropriate, and supportive of the topic. You know – organic. Unrelated one-liners don’t fit the definition. Besides, being able to tell a joke does not necessarily mean you have a good sense of humor; maybe you just have a good memory.

Organic humor is most effective when it’s woven into a story. But for the humor to work along with the point of the story, you really have to know the story. Really know it. REALLY. Pittsburgh radio personality and storyteller Jack Bogut says that a good speaker practices a story until he gets it right. A professional speaker practices a story until he can’t get it wrong. For any story – humorous or otherwise – to be effective, it must be told properly and flawlessly, and timing plays a major role.

This assumes you’ve mastered the basics, such as structure (beginning, middle, and end), progressive disclosure (what details you reveal and when you reveal them), and judicious use of dialogue and description. But it also includes minute details like the choice of language and the rhythm of the words. It isn’t only poetry and song lyrics that have rhythm; so do prose and the spoken word.

Let’s say you want to make a specific point using a humorous story as an illustration. Here’s one for you. The state of New Mexico recently unveiled (if that’s the right word) a series of public service announcements for the tipsy male from an unusual source: the urinal. Talking urinal cakes will spout messages in a female voice, such as the following: “Hey, you! Yeah, you! Having a few drinks? Then, listen up! Think you’ve had one too many? Maybe it’s time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home. It’s sure safer and a hell of a lot cheaper than a DWI! Make the smart choice tonight. Don’t drink and drive!”

(I don’t know what you would illustrate with this story; that’s your problem.)

The article I read didn’t say how the talking urinal cakes are activated and I don’t want to know. But a Department of Transportation spokesman is quoted as saying that the device is a great idea because it’s guaranteed to get “ten or fifteen seconds of undivided attention.” Wait a minute. If you’re in a bar restroom and you can take care of business in ten or fifteen seconds, well, you’re just not doing your part. And there’s another problem. If the poor guy is really swacked and he’s in there all by himself and suddenly hears a woman’s voice coming out of the urinal … that could really throw off his aim. Worst case scenario: there’s a whole bank of urinals, each with its own babbling deodorizer, all being used at the same time. The cacophony could drive a man to drink.

Notice that each of my comments on the story ends in a one-syllable word. That isn’t essential every time, but it’s more effective. Find an amusing story in the newspaper or notice something funny at work, and then see what else it makes you think of. How much funnier can you make real life?

While Henny’s one-liner would not fit into a speech or presentation, it offers some valuable examples of structure and rhythm. This joke has two parts, the setup and the snapper. “My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.” The setup has six syllables and the snapper has five, making only 11 syllables in the whole joke. And every word but one has only one syllable. That’s tight and economical writing.

Let’s try it another way: “My wife dresses to kill. You could say the same thing about her cooking.” It makes the same point, but not as well. Too many words and too many syllables. Plus, the second sentence doesn’t match the staccato rhythm of the first. In my bad example, I waited until the final word to reveal what is being compared to dressing, and that can be effective. But cooking has one syllable too many. Pay attention to the rhythm. A one-syllable word has more punch, especially if it’s the last one.

Many audiences expect a presenter to attempt humor. If the presenter is not a professional speaker, they’re also expecting the attempt to be lame. Surprise them.