Clean Jokes

Donating cars to others can make a very big difference in people’s lives. But, when you do make the choice to donate a car, you should be certain the vehicle you’re giving away is one that will truly help the person who receives it.

When you donate cars, it’s very important to be certain you really want to give a car away. A donation of a car is a big investment in charity. It’s also something that will be a very big deal to the person who receive the car you’ve donated.

If you think about it, when you donate a car to charity, the gift can really help give someone freedom to pursue their dreams. Very often all that stands between a person and independence is an ability to get to where they need to go. Everything from employment to medical appointments can depend on having reliable transportation. A gift of a donated car can really help give this to someone who desperately needs it.

Single people, families and single parents can all benefit from donated cars. When the cars are solid and they come with no strings attached, they can serve as a much-needed hand up to assist a person in building their life anew.

To make sure your donated car is a good gift for its recipient, it’s important you do a few things before you turn it over:

Clean the donated car inside and out. Make sure the people you intend to donate the car to know you think they are important by ensuring the vehicle is properly cleaned and detailed. Have it inspected for any major problems. You don’t want to give a single mom a donated car that will break down the next week while she and her children are traveling away from home. While you can’t ensure the car will run forever, you can help by making sure its in tiptop condition when you do donate the car to charity. Make sure routine maintenance is up to date. As it was with the previous, the little things can really help make sure the donated car helps the person it’s intended for instead of putting an unnecessary financial burden on them. Be certain you have the oil changed, the tires rotated and so on before you donate a car.

In addition to having the car you intend to donate inspected, cleaned up and polished, it’s a very good idea to make sure your bases are covered, too. Before you donate cars to charity, you will also want to do a few things for you, too:

Seriously consider the donation to be certain you want to do it. Donating a car is a very big deal, but it can take a lot out of your wallet. Consider this gift and be certain you want to do it. Giving something less, even a lot less, can still help. Have the car appraised. To be certain you get the proper tax deduction, it’s important to get the car appraised before you turn it over to charity. Donating a car does come with that benefit, so make sure you can file the taxes correctly.

Donating cars can mean a whole lot to the people who receive them. Make sure you’ve covered the bases for a good donation while also covering yourself, too.



By: Tom Sample

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Welcome our Clean Christian Jokes for the Pastor joel Osteen edited by Steve Bocaranda This video contains “Clean Christian Jokes” No dirty funny Jokes

Your micro video camera can be used for recreational purposes, too! Just because it is used for monitoring nannies and employees, cheating husbands and erring children, cops and robbers, does not necessarily mean that it cannot be used for good, clean fun, too! Here is how.

Remote Controlled Toys

If you attach a micro video camera to a remote controlled toy, you will get a feeling akin to playing a racing video game. The only visible difference is that instead of virtual landscapes, you will be navigating real terrain.

You can attach a micro video camera to the nose of your toy helicopter or plane and watch your neighborhood park and your yard from a totally different perspective! You can control the toy to zoom around the neighborhood just so you can get to know the layout more. Just be very careful that you do not exceed the limits on objective expectation of privacy and other laws lest you find yourself in a totally different neighborhood, otherwise known as the jailhouse.

As to your toy car, you can also attach the micro video camera inside it. Watch how grass looks from an ant’s point of view, almost like being in the “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” movie! You never know when you can use the footage for your very own “shrinking” home movie, right?

You should look for a camera that can be plugged into the receiver as power source or a camera that can be used with a Y splitter. The idea is that your tiny camera will operate on the same battery as that of the toy vehicle.

Practical Jokes

If you are a fan of gag shows like “Candid Camera”, a micro video camera is the right tool to get you started on a career as a practical joker. Just remember that your practical jokes must never endanger the lives of the targets; go easy on scare jokes for old people, weights falling down on heads, and other potentially fatal pranks.

You can position the hidden camera in a strategic place – opposite the doorway when the joke involves door pranks like stacking up books to block the entryway, up above the ceiling for better coverage, inside the bathroom for monsters-popping-up-on-the-toilet-seat pranks, and other places you deem good for capturing the action. Again, be mindful of privacy issues.

Voyeuristic Tendencies

This is an extreme in recreational purposes for a micro video camera. You are endangering your freedom in exchange for satisfying your sexual kicks. Then again, America has always been about “each to his own”, right?

There a few things you need to remember on voyeurism. You are invading the privacy of the individuals you are videotaping without their consent. As such, you can be prosecuted and jailed for violating the laws. You might be able to hide pinhole cameras to become a high-tech peeping Tom but only under the cloud of a felony (and more than 12 years of prison time for some crimes) hanging over your head.

Is it not better to play with toys and jokes than with privacy issues? The next time you think of using your pinhole cameras for recreation, try to stay within the confines of decency and of the law.



By: Nahshon Roberts

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Tmaczwl78 asked:

Just some good, clean jokes. Yep. That’s it.

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JokesRealm.com – Your online portal to humor, clean jokes, funny pictures, brain teasers, riddles, illusions and much more!

If You Can Laugh At It You Can Survive It

Bill Cosby has been known to say “If you can laugh at it you can survive it” With today’s economic down turn many people may need a good laugh to get a break from the stress of the day. Humor is a great way to reduce the unwanted effects of stress.

Many of us feel awkward joking about the losses we have taken on our 401k or other stock investments. It is hard to find anything funny about the number of houses being foreclosed in this country. Many may even consider it inappropriate or insensitive to joke about it. However when we laugh at difficult situations it tends to make them a little easier to deal with. Many cancer patients use humor to deal with there physical situation and feel better.

It has been known scientifically that the best thing you can do is to provide a humorous environment and “forget” about the stressful situation for a while. Sitting around and dwelling on the situation will not help much and will make you feel worse.

One characteristic of the person who does well during tough times is the ability to often put the stressful situation in the background for periods of time.

A good laugh is a great way to escape the current situation without the use of drugs or alcohol. Watch a funny movie or stand up comedy video clip go to a comedy club and you will get a nice escape from your problems. Laughing has physical and mental benefits as well. Studies show that laughter is a effective way to combat stress and improve blood flow.

Just as the doctors on Mash used practical jokes to deal with stress we can do the same. Play a practical joke on a friend or co-worker and you will both get a welcome relief from the problems of the day. There are a number of web sites that offer some good clean practical jokes if you need some ideas.

With a little humor and laughter we will survive the current economic situation and prove once again that Cosby was right when he said “If you can laugh at it you can survive it”.



By: Mark Doyle

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Not only human are the main characters of jokes to crack laughter. Even animal behaves as the funniest part of the joke. As to say the fact, more than other jokes people like to enjoy the animal jokes.

It is such kind of jokes in with animals is fully responsible to create a laugh. Those non-verbal creatures are featured with some of their stupid and funny act.

Different animals are characterized like Dog, cat, frog etc. They really make a funny part of the joke.

Have you heard any funniest animal jokes recently? You must have heard a lot because the craze for the animal jokes is increasing now days.

Even I myself prefer funny animal jokes rather than other funny jokes. They are mostly clean jokes and are very suitable to share in any place we like.

Mostly children are fond of it. They just want to listen and enjoy the stupid act of animals performed to make them laugh. It is even easy for them to understand the joke.

If you have not listen any funny animal jokes lately… Let me share some of the funniest jokes:

A frog telephoned the psychic hot line and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog said, “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”

“No,” said the psychic, “Next term…in her biology class.”

———————–

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.

"Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

———————–

Those above jokes are just examples of funny animal jokes. You can find many more funny jokes on web. Humor has just become a part of our life. Always enjoy the moment you get in life.



By: Rahul Roy

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There is a hidden way to learn how to be funnier. The primary thing we should do is understand why we find something hilarious, at least the way recognized scientists tell it is. At times when we comprehend new stuff, the mind builds the new path, from a neuron to another neuron.

This path is called a synapse and this is an example of the ways it works:

While thinking about food, if we think of, let’s say, blueberries our brain will make a route (the synapse which will get thicker), connecting the two neural cells that contain the data we have on food and that fruit. So, the next time you think about food, you’ll surely be thinking about apples, as well. What you’re probably thinking is that this has nothing to do with humor. Well you’re wrong, as this is in fact the way humor works.

It all begins with a person telling you a simple and short story. Stand-up comedians call this a setup. After this, you should be thinking about this story in a certain way. And then, your brain will create connection, leading from this setup to a suitable punch-line. Now, you probably won’t hear the same punch-line that you thought of, but a different one, instead and it will make you laugh. Most of the people don’t understand this right away, but the next example will surely explain it better.

The Setup:

What is the most satisfying thing next to being shot at and missed?

The Punch-line:

An income tax refund.

What did you think when you heard the setup? I am sure you have thought that the car is being driven by one of the three people. It’s normal to think that way, as that is just the way our brain was made to work. And as I said, the punch-line was totally different than you expected. This is in fact the main principle of the way humor works.

A good setup is of great importance. Good comedians will always have a setup that only delivers the basic facts, so that there are many possible punch-lines you can think of. Now, the more you believe your punch-line is the best one, the more you’ll laugh when you hear the real one. But if you’re already familiar with the punch-line the joke won’t be funny anymore as the brain won’t be making any new routes.

This article should be handy in case you want to create new jokes. When a man tells something that all the people thinks about in the same way, but you figure out an unexpected way to understand it. Now, if you tell this to others, it should be funny.



By: petar1980

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1. By asking if you would like the hospital special – three surgeries for the price of two.

 

2. Asking you if you would like anesthesia for a little extra cost.

 

3. Asking if you would like clean instruments.

 

4. Telling you that for a little extra, the surgeon will wash his hands and wear gloves.

 

5. Asking if you would like to be awake during surgery.

 

6. Asking if you would like to face surgery like a man or want the girly pain killers.

 

7. Telling you that surgery will be delayed while the surgeon watches a tape of how to do it.

 

8. Telling you that due to cost cutting, the power may go off during surgery.

 

9. Telling you that the new hospital policy is to let the patients decide what prescriptions they want to have.

 

10. Asking if you have a preference of having a nurse available for emergencies or if a cell phone would be sufficient.

Here are ten useful tips of advice from a pedestrian accident lawyer to follow if you have been in an accident. You can also learn more about how to handle a pedestrian accident in Manhattan Beach, or any city, by calling the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson at any of the numbers which can be found on our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  and learning how we can assist you.

 

Obviously, if you have had an accident, and you are reading all of this advice, it’s probably been at least a few days since the accident. However, if it’s only been a few hours or if you ever have another accident, here’s what you should do the next time from the start.

 

First, take a look around and determine if you or anyone, are hurt. If so, taking steps like trying to prevent further injury or loss of blood are the most important thing you can do. Even if some other driver caused you to be injured, it’s just good manners to help the other driver if they are hurt. They may even be so thankful that they admit their fault to you. The worst thing you can do is get angry or start a fight.

 

Second, make sure everyone is safe from being injured further. If you are in the middle of traffic, and you are dizzy, sit down away from traffic. If your vehicle is a traffic hazard and you have accident warning devices like flares or triangles, put them out on the road to warn other drivers and get away from the car. Let the police an other emergency personnel investigate the scene with the vehicles in place and move them more safely at a later point.

 

Third, call the police. Accident reports are extremely helpful if the police will do such a report. Let the police know you are injured immediately. Answer the police questions honestly. But if you are dazed or confused, let them know you need medical treatment and answer only what you feel sure about. Remember, your statements can and will be used against you if you admit fault, and it will be too late and too fishy to later say you didn’t know what you were saying at the scene. Police know that your best recollection is immediately after an accident.

 

Fourth, get the other driver’s information including their names, addresses, driver’s license numbers, make and model of their vehicles, license plate numbers, and their insurance company name and policy number. If there are witnesses, get their names, addresses and telephone numbers as well. If the other driver makes any admissions of fault, write those down as well.

 

Fifth, if you have a camera on your cell phone or in the car and you aren’t too injured, take some photos of the vehicles and the scene. If you can’t do it right away, do it after you are released from the hospital.

Sixth, if you are hurt, obtain medical treatment. Don’t decline the ambulance or hospital examination to save your insurance company money or to be stoic. Take your valuables out of your car if you can and get checked out at the hospital. If you are not hurt, don’t get treatment you don’t need. However, remember, after an accident, you may feel a rush of adrenaline that causes you to only start feeling symptoms of pain a few hours later. If you have a health plan that requires you to obtain permission first, call them and find out where you are allowed to seek treatment.

 

Seventh, call a good pedestrian accident lawyer as soon as you have had your initial treatment, so the attorney can gather other important evidence and prevent the insurance company from taking advantage of you and obtaining such things as recorded statements that you feel fine, when many of your symptoms have yet to manifest themselves. A good pedestrian accident lawyer can save you from making a great deal of mistakes and can shoulder much of the hassle of knowing what to do about car repairs, car rentals, medical treatment, witness statements and the like. If you think you will save money by not having an attorney, think again. A good pedestrian accident lawyer can almost always obtain much higher settlements, obtain reductions of medical bills and insurance liens and prevent you from making costly mistakes. Also, most pedestrian accident attorneys advance costs of obtaining police reports, medical records and the like and are paid and reimbursed for these costs only out of any settlement.

 

Eight, you will need to report the accident to your insurance company, but since they will want to take a recorded statement from you, just like any other driver’s insurance company, it’s good advice to retain an attorney first. And if the other driver did not have insurance, remember that it is your own insurance company that will be your adversary. You will also need to report the accident to the Department of Motor Vehicles and your lawyer can give you the form for this.

 

Ninth, do not agree to settle your claim privately with the person at fault for the accident. This almost never works out to your advantage. Don’t agree not to call the police. Police reports that determine the fault for an accident are golden. Your agreement to not involve the police only affords an opportunity for the other driver to change his story and blame you when the police will no longer investigate the accident.

 

Tenth, don’t pay a traffic ticket without a fight if you weren’t at fault or agree to accept a small payment for your vehicle repairs without knowing that the amount will in fact cover the cost of all the repairs.

 

If you’ve had a pedestrian accident in Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach, Palos Verdes Estates, Rancho Palos Verdes, Torrance, Carson, Redondo Beach, El Segundo, Marina del Rey, Venice Beach, Santa Monica, Santa Barbara, Ventura, Oxnard, Cambria or San Luis Obispo, or anywhere in Southern California, we have the knowledge and resources to be your Manhattan Beach Pedestrian Accident Lawyer and your Hermosa Beach Pedestrian Accident Attorney. Be sure to hire a California law firm with auto, motorcycle, truck, bicycle, pedestrian, car, bus, train, boat and airplane accident experience, wrongful death experience and insurance law expertise who can ensure you are properly represented and get the compensation you deserve.

 

If you have a personal injury legal matter, a dog bite or if you’ve lost a loved one in a wrongful death accident, call the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson, or visit our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  and learn how we can assist you.



By: R. Sebastian Gibson

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