Tue 20 Jan 2009
Re: Shazoolo’s Religious Humour & Clean Jokes!
Posted by echan76 under Booma
[2] Comments
REVPIPSTER asked:
Video Cam Direct Upload
Archive for January, 2009
Monthly Archive
Mon 19 Jan 2009
The Funny Paper of Mobile, Alabama
Posted by echan76 under Comedy
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mobileclc asked:
The Funny Paper is a specialty advertising monthly of clean jokes and humor, distributed free in customer and patient waiting rooms in Mobile, Alabama and nationally. (www.thefunnypaper.net)
Mon 19 Jan 2009
Good Email Advertising
Posted by echan76 under Business
No Comments
I thought it might be good to talk about a few of my likes and dislikes about email advertising.I have picked up a few good pointers over the years.Even though a lot of these may be known or said before they are worth repeating.
After all the whole idea is get people to read your emails( not DELETE) in the hope that they will sign up or buy whatever you are promoting.
1)One of the first things you are going to want to do is make sure you don’t go across in your email more than 65 characters a line.There are 2 reasons for this and the first is what is known as “eye fatigue”.What this means is if the person reading has to go across too far to the right the reader loses interest.The second reason is some email clients have what is called line wrapping which means your message will come out all garbled if it is over 65 characters.
2)Next thing is avoid using all capitals.When a person uses all capitals on the internet it is considered shouting and nobody likes shouting all the time.Gilbert Godfrey shouts all the time and at first it is funny but then you come to expect it and eventually he’s not funny anymore.So be creative.The odd CAPITALIZED word can add variety however, and can make a product or benefit stand out in your email.
3)The next thing is one of my personal pet peeves.
I can’t stand emails that are full of bad grammar.Bad spelling doesn’t hurt your professional image it flat out DESTROYS it.It makes me think the guy on the other end can’t be bothered to proof read his emails.
4)The next thing you are going to want to do on a regular basis is put your link to your site in your email no less than 3 times.You know the old saying “a picture is worth a thousand words”.Chances are your website has all the interesting pictures or videos you’ll need to capture your prospect’s interest so make that the goal.Space them out evenly through your email and make sure they work by sending yourself one of your emails.Then CLICK on it to see if it works.I can’t tell you how many people have sent me links that don’t work.
5)For goodness sake don’t be long winded.A little info..then your link..a little more info..then your link..well you get it.What I want to know is who are these people who babble on and on.yama yama.. yama.. bla.. bla..little do they know is I went to the kitchen to get a fork so I can stab MYSELF in th EYE rather than read anymore.Short and sweet or KISS(keep it simple stupid) is the KEY.
6)The next thing is don’t use uncommon fonts or really loud colors in an attempt to dress up your email.I must confess I used to do this just because I liked the all the fun tools,colors,and smiley’s in my email arsenal.All it did was make me look gimmicky and silly along with my program.Remember you are trying to build trust and integrity on the net.Using Ariel, Times New Roman, or Courier as a font style is professional looking enough.
7)When it comes to your subject line this is where you want to grab them.If you follow the rich jerk’s advice he recommends you can even say something shocking like “YOUR UGLY” or “HEY STUPID” however, one must be careful here.Trial and error here and one’s own personality to make you look unique as compared to all those other emails will get people opening your emails.I do confess that I have clicked on “HEY UGLY” just out of curiosity.I don’t know if I want to be in business with someone that obnoxious though.I guess it depends on whether you are building long term relationships or just looking for the fast sale.
8)You may want to tell the odd clean joke in your emails.Especially if you are loading then into an auto responder.You’ll find people will look forward to your emails just because they can get a chuckle out of them.
By: Lance Brown
About the Author:
After all the whole idea is get people to read your emails( not DELETE) in the hope that they will sign up or buy whatever you are promoting.
1)One of the first things you are going to want to do is make sure you don’t go across in your email more than 65 characters a line.There are 2 reasons for this and the first is what is known as “eye fatigue”.What this means is if the person reading has to go across too far to the right the reader loses interest.The second reason is some email clients have what is called line wrapping which means your message will come out all garbled if it is over 65 characters.
2)Next thing is avoid using all capitals.When a person uses all capitals on the internet it is considered shouting and nobody likes shouting all the time.Gilbert Godfrey shouts all the time and at first it is funny but then you come to expect it and eventually he’s not funny anymore.So be creative.The odd CAPITALIZED word can add variety however, and can make a product or benefit stand out in your email.
3)The next thing is one of my personal pet peeves.
I can’t stand emails that are full of bad grammar.Bad spelling doesn’t hurt your professional image it flat out DESTROYS it.It makes me think the guy on the other end can’t be bothered to proof read his emails.
4)The next thing you are going to want to do on a regular basis is put your link to your site in your email no less than 3 times.You know the old saying “a picture is worth a thousand words”.Chances are your website has all the interesting pictures or videos you’ll need to capture your prospect’s interest so make that the goal.Space them out evenly through your email and make sure they work by sending yourself one of your emails.Then CLICK on it to see if it works.I can’t tell you how many people have sent me links that don’t work.
5)For goodness sake don’t be long winded.A little info..then your link..a little more info..then your link..well you get it.What I want to know is who are these people who babble on and on.yama yama.. yama.. bla.. bla..little do they know is I went to the kitchen to get a fork so I can stab MYSELF in th EYE rather than read anymore.Short and sweet or KISS(keep it simple stupid) is the KEY.
6)The next thing is don’t use uncommon fonts or really loud colors in an attempt to dress up your email.I must confess I used to do this just because I liked the all the fun tools,colors,and smiley’s in my email arsenal.All it did was make me look gimmicky and silly along with my program.Remember you are trying to build trust and integrity on the net.Using Ariel, Times New Roman, or Courier as a font style is professional looking enough.
7)When it comes to your subject line this is where you want to grab them.If you follow the rich jerk’s advice he recommends you can even say something shocking like “YOUR UGLY” or “HEY STUPID” however, one must be careful here.Trial and error here and one’s own personality to make you look unique as compared to all those other emails will get people opening your emails.I do confess that I have clicked on “HEY UGLY” just out of curiosity.I don’t know if I want to be in business with someone that obnoxious though.I guess it depends on whether you are building long term relationships or just looking for the fast sale.
8)You may want to tell the odd clean joke in your emails.Especially if you are loading then into an auto responder.You’ll find people will look forward to your emails just because they can get a chuckle out of them.
By: Lance Brown
About the Author:
Home Business Success Tips
http://ezmakedollars.blogspot.com
Mon 19 Jan 2009
Different Ways to Pick Up Women
Posted by echan76 under Health
No Comments
Have a date tonight? If not you probably don’t know the secret to picking up women. Lots of guys that seem to have everything together wind up going home to their apartments to open a beer and watch another game on ESPN alone.
Well it doesn’t have to be that way. You can learn how to pick up women easily and all the time. The first thing to understand is that she is just as interested in dating as you are. Understand that ice girls are taught to play hard to get from the moment they understand what dating is. They are told that if they come across too aggressive with a man, that he isn’t going to like it. So they don’t seem interested when they are or they don’t call you back. How can you tell the difference between a woman who is playing hard to get and a woman who really isn’t interested?
The woman who is playing hard to get will still be standing next to you and may be looking down at the floor. Or she may touch your arm. Or the woman talks to you on the telephone, keeping you on the telephone longer by asking you questions. In short she doesn’t just say no thanks in a nice way, she prolongs the encounter in some way. That’s the easiest way you can tell she’s playing “hard to get” with you.
It is no secret that women like confident men. However, many men mistake the idea of confident for some type of arrogant jerk. They think that a confident man is the type of man who thinks he is always right, always perfect. That is not quite what a woman is looking for. Most women are looking for a man who accepts himself as he is with his good points and his faults. If you can be confident enough to accept that you are shorter than she is, instead talk to her anyway she is going to admire your confidence.
A funny guy also has great success with women. This is not to say that you have to be a comedian. Learn to tell a story in an adventurous way. Or learn several good jokes that you can tell when you meet women. A word of warning: do not tell jokes that some women would consider to have racial, ethnic or sexist slurs in them. An off-color joke or remark could easily turn off a woman who is already interested in you. Don’t take the chance and lose out on a great date with a beautiful woman because you tell her some dumb joke you don’t even think is that funny. Learn some clean jokes, the kind you’d tell your boss at work.
One of the best ways to pick up any woman is by using common courtesies. Women love a man with good manners. This is something they will always tell their friends after they have been on a date. Did he open the car door for you, they’ll ask each other. Did he stand when you walked into the room is another question that they’ll ask. While some of these may seem a bit formal to you, having good manners shows a woman that you know how to treat people well. If you know how to treat people well then you’ll most likely treat her well.
Another top tip to pick up women is to be nice to the other women in her life. If you are interested in a woman, be nice to her sisters, friends, mother and other women. Women talk to each other. If you are not polite and thoughtful then guess what they are going to talk about you. However if you make a great impression they are going to all say nice things about you: this is going to make snagging this woman all the easier.
Picking up women always gets easier with practice. Add some of these tips to your daily life and you’ll soon discover that you are picking up more women with ease.
By: Daniel Millions
About the Author:
Well it doesn’t have to be that way. You can learn how to pick up women easily and all the time. The first thing to understand is that she is just as interested in dating as you are. Understand that ice girls are taught to play hard to get from the moment they understand what dating is. They are told that if they come across too aggressive with a man, that he isn’t going to like it. So they don’t seem interested when they are or they don’t call you back. How can you tell the difference between a woman who is playing hard to get and a woman who really isn’t interested?
The woman who is playing hard to get will still be standing next to you and may be looking down at the floor. Or she may touch your arm. Or the woman talks to you on the telephone, keeping you on the telephone longer by asking you questions. In short she doesn’t just say no thanks in a nice way, she prolongs the encounter in some way. That’s the easiest way you can tell she’s playing “hard to get” with you.
It is no secret that women like confident men. However, many men mistake the idea of confident for some type of arrogant jerk. They think that a confident man is the type of man who thinks he is always right, always perfect. That is not quite what a woman is looking for. Most women are looking for a man who accepts himself as he is with his good points and his faults. If you can be confident enough to accept that you are shorter than she is, instead talk to her anyway she is going to admire your confidence.
A funny guy also has great success with women. This is not to say that you have to be a comedian. Learn to tell a story in an adventurous way. Or learn several good jokes that you can tell when you meet women. A word of warning: do not tell jokes that some women would consider to have racial, ethnic or sexist slurs in them. An off-color joke or remark could easily turn off a woman who is already interested in you. Don’t take the chance and lose out on a great date with a beautiful woman because you tell her some dumb joke you don’t even think is that funny. Learn some clean jokes, the kind you’d tell your boss at work.
One of the best ways to pick up any woman is by using common courtesies. Women love a man with good manners. This is something they will always tell their friends after they have been on a date. Did he open the car door for you, they’ll ask each other. Did he stand when you walked into the room is another question that they’ll ask. While some of these may seem a bit formal to you, having good manners shows a woman that you know how to treat people well. If you know how to treat people well then you’ll most likely treat her well.
Another top tip to pick up women is to be nice to the other women in her life. If you are interested in a woman, be nice to her sisters, friends, mother and other women. Women talk to each other. If you are not polite and thoughtful then guess what they are going to talk about you. However if you make a great impression they are going to all say nice things about you: this is going to make snagging this woman all the easier.
Picking up women always gets easier with practice. Add some of these tips to your daily life and you’ll soon discover that you are picking up more women with ease.
By: Daniel Millions
About the Author:
What are Magic Bullets and how can they help you? Maybe you need Dating Advice or tips on how to pick up women?
Sat 17 Jan 2009
Clean Jokes are Good Anywhere
Posted by echan76 under Laundry
No Comments
Joseph Addison declared “One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter.” Do you know a lot of your coworkers in your office might think there to old or wise to take a moment to laugh while there at work. This doesn’t sound like good office behavior but we can fix it with good clean jokes that you can use without breaking any office rules.
If many of you were asked “What is a joke?” Would you be able to directly answer the question? Most of us would probably answer this question with a joke. Seems like a joke isn’t quite something you just hear but experience instead – the experience in most cases called laughter. Now some of you are thinking that every time you heard a joke you didn’t always experience laughter. This maybe because the jokes was crude or not crude enough depending on what your preference is. If your like me most crude jokes are offending whether I laugh or not. But not to worry there are many resources out there for less crude jokes referred to as clean jokes as opposed to the opposite called dirty jokes.
Now we can also take a look at humor. What is humor you ask? Humor is an emotion you feel maybe when there is something funny happen or even when see some thing happen and laugh at it even if its not funny. This is called finding the humor. Just like jokes different types of humor can be clean or dirty.
Why do we categorize them clean and dirty? Well the are lots of reasons but the most obvious reason is clean jokes normally fall into the G to GP rating area that are safe for a young audience. Why do we need clean jokes? Clean jokes are important because everybody needs a laugh sometimes. In some places such as work or family oriented gatherings dirty jokes are viewed as inappropriate.
The great thing about finding good clean jokes is that you can share them with other people without the fear of offending them in any way. In fact you may just be able to put a smile on each of their faces. The next time you find a great clean joke pin it up in your office or e-mail to all of your friends and family.
By: nlwest21
About the Author:
If many of you were asked “What is a joke?” Would you be able to directly answer the question? Most of us would probably answer this question with a joke. Seems like a joke isn’t quite something you just hear but experience instead – the experience in most cases called laughter. Now some of you are thinking that every time you heard a joke you didn’t always experience laughter. This maybe because the jokes was crude or not crude enough depending on what your preference is. If your like me most crude jokes are offending whether I laugh or not. But not to worry there are many resources out there for less crude jokes referred to as clean jokes as opposed to the opposite called dirty jokes.
Now we can also take a look at humor. What is humor you ask? Humor is an emotion you feel maybe when there is something funny happen or even when see some thing happen and laugh at it even if its not funny. This is called finding the humor. Just like jokes different types of humor can be clean or dirty.
Why do we categorize them clean and dirty? Well the are lots of reasons but the most obvious reason is clean jokes normally fall into the G to GP rating area that are safe for a young audience. Why do we need clean jokes? Clean jokes are important because everybody needs a laugh sometimes. In some places such as work or family oriented gatherings dirty jokes are viewed as inappropriate.
The great thing about finding good clean jokes is that you can share them with other people without the fear of offending them in any way. In fact you may just be able to put a smile on each of their faces. The next time you find a great clean joke pin it up in your office or e-mail to all of your friends and family.
By: nlwest21
About the Author:
You can find funny stories, jokes, pictures, and even games that will leave you laughing and put a smile on your face. They have some hysterical stories that you can’t help but share with others. For your own Chuck Norris Facts visit Funny & Jokes.
Sat 17 Jan 2009
ANOTHER quick clean joke you can tell your kids.
Posted by echan76 under Comedy
No Comments
DahCraw asked:
I think telling a clean joke well is an artform… and maybe when I am a little more settled using this thing I will be alot betterer at it… lol…
Sat 17 Jan 2009
What You Say and How You Look Speaks Volumes
Posted by echan76 under Self Improvement
No Comments
rking for Success’ workshop students frequently have a problem with this quotation:
“Have your physical and verbal presentation represent who you are and what you do, always.”
What is their struggle? They have ‘off days’ or ‘casual Fridays’ when they can’t look their best…then there are the weekends. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always look completely together on a Sat. morning trip to the nursery, but I’m not presented in a manner that would prove embarrassing if I run into a colleague or client.
As D.A. Benton puts it in Executive Charisma: “You don’t just interview for a job once, you interview for it every day. People are always watching, noticing, reevaluating. Most executives don’t get fired for incompetence. They get fired because they are not liked.” It’s easier to like someone who has pleasant verbal and physical presentation.
I’m not trying to make you feel fearful. The point is made simply to increase your awareness. I have a friend who used to wear thousand dollar suites in his previous real estate broker role. He showed up at a Chamber of Commerce event out of his norm: he wore a t-shirt and blue jeans. Was this dramatic change appropriate for this setting? Yes, as it turned he now owns a sports equipment store and his oversized logo on his t-shirt told the story.
Here are some of the questions I typically receive. They may help you in deciding how you want to continue to present yourself:
“What about casual Fridays? I’m the boss and want to blend in with my team.” If you are the boss then you want to dress one step above your crew to show authority. Perhaps you wear denim, but it is stylish and matched with a tailored shirt, not t-shirt.
“Everyone in my division dresses casually; however, they dress more formally in the area to which I hope to evolve.If you’ve got promotion in the background of your thinking, you’ll want to dress up one level from your current position to show seriousness about your career. You’ll get noticed.
“OK, I’m not going to my son’s baseball game in a suit.It’s not necessary to be formal in a suit; It’s important to always be aware of your presentation especially if you’ve got customers around. This is especially true verbally. Even the savviest of us forget our manners when our child is involved in a sport.
“What about jokes?” Know your audience and know who might overhear your joke. Racial jokes are rarely if ever accepted. Always choose the most suitable words for your environment and don’t ever presupose. If in doubt, keep it clean or don’t joke at all. Very few of us pull off jokes that are universally appealing.
“How do I tell an associate that her dress or language is inappropriate?What is your relationship with him or her. If you are a close friend, take them to lunch and ask for feedback on your dress or language first. Then ask if they are open to feedback. If you are not close yet it is affecting your company image, let your manager know ,and then drop it. Don’t assume your manager is aware. I find that they quite often are not.
“What if I don’t know how my/our image is perceived?” Great question. Solicit outside opinions from clients, friends, spouses, associates who will tell you the truth. Invite an image consultant to speak to your group regarding current trends annually. This can be both fun and educational.
Have a little fun with this concept of walking your talk this week. You say you are an executive, a leader, a powerhouse. Make sure you are presenting both physically and verbally to support this? Have a wonderful week and enjoy your discoveries.
By: Ann Golden Egle
About the Author:
“Have your physical and verbal presentation represent who you are and what you do, always.”
What is their struggle? They have ‘off days’ or ‘casual Fridays’ when they can’t look their best…then there are the weekends. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always look completely together on a Sat. morning trip to the nursery, but I’m not presented in a manner that would prove embarrassing if I run into a colleague or client.
As D.A. Benton puts it in Executive Charisma: “You don’t just interview for a job once, you interview for it every day. People are always watching, noticing, reevaluating. Most executives don’t get fired for incompetence. They get fired because they are not liked.” It’s easier to like someone who has pleasant verbal and physical presentation.
I’m not trying to make you feel fearful. The point is made simply to increase your awareness. I have a friend who used to wear thousand dollar suites in his previous real estate broker role. He showed up at a Chamber of Commerce event out of his norm: he wore a t-shirt and blue jeans. Was this dramatic change appropriate for this setting? Yes, as it turned he now owns a sports equipment store and his oversized logo on his t-shirt told the story.
Here are some of the questions I typically receive. They may help you in deciding how you want to continue to present yourself:
“What about casual Fridays? I’m the boss and want to blend in with my team.” If you are the boss then you want to dress one step above your crew to show authority. Perhaps you wear denim, but it is stylish and matched with a tailored shirt, not t-shirt.
“Everyone in my division dresses casually; however, they dress more formally in the area to which I hope to evolve.If you’ve got promotion in the background of your thinking, you’ll want to dress up one level from your current position to show seriousness about your career. You’ll get noticed.
“OK, I’m not going to my son’s baseball game in a suit.It’s not necessary to be formal in a suit; It’s important to always be aware of your presentation especially if you’ve got customers around. This is especially true verbally. Even the savviest of us forget our manners when our child is involved in a sport.
“What about jokes?” Know your audience and know who might overhear your joke. Racial jokes are rarely if ever accepted. Always choose the most suitable words for your environment and don’t ever presupose. If in doubt, keep it clean or don’t joke at all. Very few of us pull off jokes that are universally appealing.
“How do I tell an associate that her dress or language is inappropriate?What is your relationship with him or her. If you are a close friend, take them to lunch and ask for feedback on your dress or language first. Then ask if they are open to feedback. If you are not close yet it is affecting your company image, let your manager know ,and then drop it. Don’t assume your manager is aware. I find that they quite often are not.
“What if I don’t know how my/our image is perceived?” Great question. Solicit outside opinions from clients, friends, spouses, associates who will tell you the truth. Invite an image consultant to speak to your group regarding current trends annually. This can be both fun and educational.
Have a little fun with this concept of walking your talk this week. You say you are an executive, a leader, a powerhouse. Make sure you are presenting both physically and verbally to support this? Have a wonderful week and enjoy your discoveries.
By: Ann Golden Egle
About the Author:
For the sake of keeping your career fresh and on track, would you like to enjoy a weekly shot-in-the-arm from Master Certified Coach Ann Golden Egl
Sat 17 Jan 2009
How to Make Women Laugh
Posted by echan76 under Dating
No Comments
Creating humor is a very powerful way of making women attracted to you like bees to honey. A sprinkle of laughter can tweak the entire mood and if you get lucky, love might even blossom right before your very eyes. The only problem is that, men have always failed (again and again) when it comes to bringing a smile to a lady’s face. There is no rabbit-in-the-hat trick here and you do not have to be a genius to figure the theories. It just takes simple steps on how to make women laugh, trust me.
Now, you must be thinking that jokes will definitely do the trick. It all wraps up on the kind of jokes that you intend to share with her. At the same time, learn to be careful with the choice of jokes. If you are not so lucky, you might see her stomping out of the restaurant.
With that in mind, try to avoid being the next Charlie Chaplin. Slapstick routines do not work so do not even try to imitate good old Charlie. Furthermore, slapsticks will just make you look and behave like an idiot, which is definitely a turn off for most girls. Remember to refrain from doing this at all times if you are really serious into making girls go head over heels for you.
If you are really into dirty jokes, try to avoid sharing these jokes with her too. Keeping things clean during the conversation is definitely advisable. There might be a few exceptions, but most girls abhor these dirty jokes. Strike off any stories and jokes that have got to do with genitals. A tiny bit of sexual content would be ok, but a story that is 100% about genitals is horrifying disgusting. Now, you definitely not want to look like a pervert in front of her would you?
Jokes aside, when it comes to conversing with her, it is always important to note her body language. She might get a tiny bit uncomfortable with your jokes, and when you see this, try to take a step back and get serious. It is definitely good to know the things that she loves and likes. Do not ever make fun of the things that are special to her or it will make it seem as if you are just mocking her.
It all sums up on how well you are able to carry yourself in front of her. Wearing a smile at all times will create a pleasant mood and will just perk up the entire night. By doing so, your lady will see you as a happy and cheerful person, which is definitely a good start to make all other girls trailing behind you.
Looking sober, serious or grumpy will not help. No women would want to hang out with a grumpy miserable dude.
When you are able to make a woman laugh, it just means that you have scored it, BIG time. By laughing together, you are actually creating many good memories that will definitely linger on. She might even ask you out for a second date!
Making a woman laugh is incredibly easy. Try these tips the next time you ask a girl out for a date. It’s time to share more laughter and smiles.
By: Michael Dat
About the Author:
Now, you must be thinking that jokes will definitely do the trick. It all wraps up on the kind of jokes that you intend to share with her. At the same time, learn to be careful with the choice of jokes. If you are not so lucky, you might see her stomping out of the restaurant.
With that in mind, try to avoid being the next Charlie Chaplin. Slapstick routines do not work so do not even try to imitate good old Charlie. Furthermore, slapsticks will just make you look and behave like an idiot, which is definitely a turn off for most girls. Remember to refrain from doing this at all times if you are really serious into making girls go head over heels for you.
If you are really into dirty jokes, try to avoid sharing these jokes with her too. Keeping things clean during the conversation is definitely advisable. There might be a few exceptions, but most girls abhor these dirty jokes. Strike off any stories and jokes that have got to do with genitals. A tiny bit of sexual content would be ok, but a story that is 100% about genitals is horrifying disgusting. Now, you definitely not want to look like a pervert in front of her would you?
Jokes aside, when it comes to conversing with her, it is always important to note her body language. She might get a tiny bit uncomfortable with your jokes, and when you see this, try to take a step back and get serious. It is definitely good to know the things that she loves and likes. Do not ever make fun of the things that are special to her or it will make it seem as if you are just mocking her.
It all sums up on how well you are able to carry yourself in front of her. Wearing a smile at all times will create a pleasant mood and will just perk up the entire night. By doing so, your lady will see you as a happy and cheerful person, which is definitely a good start to make all other girls trailing behind you.
Looking sober, serious or grumpy will not help. No women would want to hang out with a grumpy miserable dude.
When you are able to make a woman laugh, it just means that you have scored it, BIG time. By laughing together, you are actually creating many good memories that will definitely linger on. She might even ask you out for a second date!
Making a woman laugh is incredibly easy. Try these tips the next time you ask a girl out for a date. It’s time to share more laughter and smiles.
By: Michael Dat
About the Author:
Michael Dat specialises in dating techniques for men. Visit http://www.datingquestionsformen.com for more dating and seduction tips.
Fri 16 Jan 2009
Is Your Site A Rich Feast Or A Dogs Breakfast? Part 1 of 2
Posted by echan76 under Seo
No Comments
It had started out as a prank, a practical joke to play on some of her ostentatious yuppie friends. They had always had the last laugh at her expense and now it was to be her opportunity for revenge. Half an upturned can of Pal surrounded by biscuits and garnish. The trap had been set.
She had always intended to reveal the punch line at the appropriate moment just before the guest succumbed to the faux pate. Then she got side tracked. An unexpected phone call, a rush of guests and small talk. Oops!
The result was unexpected. No complaints or indignation. The plate had been virtually licked clean and she was confronted with an endless stream of compliments over her interesting array of appetisers. It had gone over remarkably well.
She didn’t have the heart, or perhaps indeed the courage, to reveal the truth. The guests departed happily wagging metaphorical tails and unknowingly looking forward to the added bonus of a shiny coat and stronger teeth.
Accidentally she had successfully taken the product to a new market. Whilst this probably says more about her gullible friends than the long term potential for dog food as snack food, the key Item from a marketing perspective was that she had managed to engage her customers into trying something new. This was achieved by positioning the new product within the familiar context of the dinner party where a degree of experimentation and tolerance is part and parcel of the experience. It was relevant and therefore it was tested and consumed.
Relevance and context encourage consumers to sample and nowhere is this more true than on the web. It is in essence the underlying principal of search engine marketing. People don’t stumble upon web sites they search for them. Every time a consumer types a keyword string into a search engine they are asking a question. How well your site can answer that question will determine how likely a visitor will engage with your site. It is one thing to know the questions that potential customers are interested in and to set up your site to answer them, it is another thing all together to get them to come to your dinner party in the first place.
This requires planning. A good search engine strategy is a feast of multiple courses and a blend of numerous ingredients. The following is a good start.
The Ingredients:
A good Carbonara sauce is more than scrambled eggs and ham. Like cooking, search engine marketing is all about using quality ingredients in the right proportions. The following is a short list of some of the best tools to kick start your site performance.
• Search Engine Pay Per Click (Google AdWords, Overture etc) Sometimes you have to tie a chop around your neck to get the dogs to play with you.
• Directory Listings on/offline (Yellow Pages) Although not as defining and as cost effective as they would have you believe it is a fool who ignores them altogether.
• Direct ad delivery (eg. Google AdSense) Get Google to place your ad on other relevant sites. Potentially useful as long as you have a strong call to action.
• Third party campaign management and competitive analysis providers (eg. Hitwise) Let someone else manage the headache of juggling your keyword mix, keep up to date with listing requirements, and target the increasing number of search engines out there. This is also great for competitive analysis and intelligence for other online marketing purposes.
• Direct onsite search engine optimisation (Content optimization and copywriting, page structure, organisation, under the bonnet tweaks) There are many ways to get your site listed but ultimately it is your sites structure, usability and content that will determine its long term success.
• Link exchanges Just like high school it pays to be popular. It is all about linking. Recently a Google listing competition was won by a single entry in a popular blog proving that no matter what else you do if you can get sufficient numbers of other sites linking to your site it will list well. (see http://www.wired.com/news/infostructure/0,1377,64130,00.html). Get your site listed in as many relevant industry directories as you can.
• Public relations Blow your trumpet high and low and always mention your URL. Encourage subsidiaries, suppliers, customers and other friendly businesses to link to your site.
• Domain name management Domain names are relatively inexpensive to set up and there is really no limit on the number of domains that you can have pointing at your website. A good generic domain name as well as providing an easily remembered URL for you to use in advertising and other marketing materials will also help boost search engine results for that keyword.
• Link farms Towards the murky grey area of the SEO spectrum however properly implemented and managed they can help direct relevant targeted traffic to your site (ie. Useful information directories), however at their worst they are little more than spam (think menu hell). Link farms in many ways are the direct response to the current search engine listing process and increasingly they are polluting the free listings and forcing web marketers to either follow suit or rely on the paid listings to help. Care should be taken in their use as it can lead to your site or IP becoming blacklisted by search engines.
The Preparation:
Depending who you talk to in the web marketing industry the previous listing of ingredients will be given differing emphasis. Most of this advice is influenced by vested interests in one technique or product or the other. The truth is that there is no real hard and fast rule and the mix may vary depending upon your product, industry or budget. As a general rule of thumb all of the above can help achieve an improvement in your page listings and the best results come from combining as many channels as you can. Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) is a science of small increments. It is the little one percenters that in isolation are insignificant but can total together to deliver tangible results.
Task 1 – Define your keywords.
This is the most important part of the process and a could justify an entire article to fully detail many of the techniques and strategies that can be used, however if you address the following checklist you shouldn’t go far wrong.
• Conduct an in house brainstorming session to compile a list of all possible keywords that potential customers might use to find your site. (or those that you would like to be found under). Include all company names, major products and brands. Try not to edit the list too much at this stage and explore relevant tangents.
• Review your competition to see what they are using. Specifically look at the best performing sites in the search engine keyword categories that you would most like to target. You can get a good idea of the keywords being used by looking at the page titles in the browser or looking at the meta keywords contained in the HTML code of the site (Contained within the tags generally towards the top of the code). This can be seen by selecting view and then source from the browser menu or by right clicking on the page and selecting view source. Ethically it is considered extremely dirty pool to use your competitors names or brands directly in your SEO however legally this issue is a bit cloudy. My advice would be to not do it or risk becoming the test case that defines the law.
• Use the Overture keyword selector tool to test the popularity of listed keywords. This will reveal the number of searches done throughout the Overture network for the last month and enable you to rank your list of terms and phrases accordingly. It may also suggest some additional terms that you had not previously considered. www.c ontent.overture.com/d/USm/ac/index.jhtml
• Google Ad Words (http://adwords.google.com.au< /a>) also contains a keyword suggestion tool that can be useful in this process. Unfortunately you actually have to commence the sign up (and move through several screens) to actually get to use it, however you can always abort the sign up once you have found the information that you need before you are asked to commit.
• Using the above information shortlist a top 10 of primary target keywords. If possible list a further 10 as secondary keywords that can be used to a lesser degree throughout the site. Try to be specific to your target market as some keywords are highly competitive and can have multiple meanings that are not necessarily directly connected to your business. Also try to include a geographical locator. For example if you deal in car seat covers it would be better to target Car Accessories Melbourne rather than simply the generic keyword Cars.
Task 2 – Define your goals and ensure they are shared and have internal support. Make sure they are realistic.
As with any marketing endeavour it is dangerous to enter into any campaign unless you have a realistic target to work towards. It is also important that this target also has the broad support of the company as a whole. It is no good setting in place a program to boost online enquiries if the company doesn’t have the procedures in place to cope with them. Poorly managed a successful campaign to bring more customers to your site could have detrimental branding effects if they encounter poor customer service upon contacting the company.
Key questions:
• What would you consider a successful outcome? (Traffic numbers, leads/enquiries delivered, downloads made, pages read etc.. If possible define this quantitatively)
• Who is taking ownership to make sure that leads/enquiries are actioned promptly? All enquiries should end up with a live person capable of responding quickly (ie. The sales team not the network administrator). 24 hours later is not prompt service.
• Be prepared to experiment a little and to give it sufficient time to work or fail. Note that it can take up to three months for a search engine to fully catalogue and index your site. This should be the absolute minimum appraisal time.
Task 3 – Look at your current site. Be honest.
Attracting people to your site is the easy part. Getting them engaged enough to contact your sales team will depend upon their experience upon arriving at your site. The beauty of the web is that it theoretically allows everyone an equal footing, however a poorly thought out site is unlikely to convert those window shoppers that arrive on site into sales leads. Remember if they arrived via a search engine then a full listing of your competitors is only a back click away. Key questions:
• Are there any artificial barriers to entry on site? (eg. Long loading times for non broadband users, annoying splash pages and unnecessary transitional animations, confusing navigation etc..)
• Is there at least one call to action prominently displayed upon arrival at your site or must a visitor hunt around to find your contact form, email address, store location or phone number?
• Do you have at least 200 words of searchable text on the home page of your site? (If you can highlight the text with your mouse then it is searchable)
• Place yourself in the position of a potential customer. Would you be engaged enough by this site to make contact?
If your product/service offering is of sufficient quality then the online campaign has a chance of success. If not then at least you are failing on your merits.
Next installment: The cooking and the eating, the proof of the pudding after all
By: Tim Giles
About the Author:
She had always intended to reveal the punch line at the appropriate moment just before the guest succumbed to the faux pate. Then she got side tracked. An unexpected phone call, a rush of guests and small talk. Oops!
The result was unexpected. No complaints or indignation. The plate had been virtually licked clean and she was confronted with an endless stream of compliments over her interesting array of appetisers. It had gone over remarkably well.
She didn’t have the heart, or perhaps indeed the courage, to reveal the truth. The guests departed happily wagging metaphorical tails and unknowingly looking forward to the added bonus of a shiny coat and stronger teeth.
Accidentally she had successfully taken the product to a new market. Whilst this probably says more about her gullible friends than the long term potential for dog food as snack food, the key Item from a marketing perspective was that she had managed to engage her customers into trying something new. This was achieved by positioning the new product within the familiar context of the dinner party where a degree of experimentation and tolerance is part and parcel of the experience. It was relevant and therefore it was tested and consumed.
Relevance and context encourage consumers to sample and nowhere is this more true than on the web. It is in essence the underlying principal of search engine marketing. People don’t stumble upon web sites they search for them. Every time a consumer types a keyword string into a search engine they are asking a question. How well your site can answer that question will determine how likely a visitor will engage with your site. It is one thing to know the questions that potential customers are interested in and to set up your site to answer them, it is another thing all together to get them to come to your dinner party in the first place.
This requires planning. A good search engine strategy is a feast of multiple courses and a blend of numerous ingredients. The following is a good start.
The Ingredients:
A good Carbonara sauce is more than scrambled eggs and ham. Like cooking, search engine marketing is all about using quality ingredients in the right proportions. The following is a short list of some of the best tools to kick start your site performance.
• Search Engine Pay Per Click (Google AdWords, Overture etc) Sometimes you have to tie a chop around your neck to get the dogs to play with you.
• Directory Listings on/offline (Yellow Pages) Although not as defining and as cost effective as they would have you believe it is a fool who ignores them altogether.
• Direct ad delivery (eg. Google AdSense) Get Google to place your ad on other relevant sites. Potentially useful as long as you have a strong call to action.
• Third party campaign management and competitive analysis providers (eg. Hitwise) Let someone else manage the headache of juggling your keyword mix, keep up to date with listing requirements, and target the increasing number of search engines out there. This is also great for competitive analysis and intelligence for other online marketing purposes.
• Direct onsite search engine optimisation (Content optimization and copywriting, page structure, organisation, under the bonnet tweaks) There are many ways to get your site listed but ultimately it is your sites structure, usability and content that will determine its long term success.
• Link exchanges Just like high school it pays to be popular. It is all about linking. Recently a Google listing competition was won by a single entry in a popular blog proving that no matter what else you do if you can get sufficient numbers of other sites linking to your site it will list well. (see http://www.wired.com/news/infostructure/0,1377,64130,00.html). Get your site listed in as many relevant industry directories as you can.
• Public relations Blow your trumpet high and low and always mention your URL. Encourage subsidiaries, suppliers, customers and other friendly businesses to link to your site.
• Domain name management Domain names are relatively inexpensive to set up and there is really no limit on the number of domains that you can have pointing at your website. A good generic domain name as well as providing an easily remembered URL for you to use in advertising and other marketing materials will also help boost search engine results for that keyword.
• Link farms Towards the murky grey area of the SEO spectrum however properly implemented and managed they can help direct relevant targeted traffic to your site (ie. Useful information directories), however at their worst they are little more than spam (think menu hell). Link farms in many ways are the direct response to the current search engine listing process and increasingly they are polluting the free listings and forcing web marketers to either follow suit or rely on the paid listings to help. Care should be taken in their use as it can lead to your site or IP becoming blacklisted by search engines.
The Preparation:
Depending who you talk to in the web marketing industry the previous listing of ingredients will be given differing emphasis. Most of this advice is influenced by vested interests in one technique or product or the other. The truth is that there is no real hard and fast rule and the mix may vary depending upon your product, industry or budget. As a general rule of thumb all of the above can help achieve an improvement in your page listings and the best results come from combining as many channels as you can. Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) is a science of small increments. It is the little one percenters that in isolation are insignificant but can total together to deliver tangible results.
Task 1 – Define your keywords.
This is the most important part of the process and a could justify an entire article to fully detail many of the techniques and strategies that can be used, however if you address the following checklist you shouldn’t go far wrong.
• Conduct an in house brainstorming session to compile a list of all possible keywords that potential customers might use to find your site. (or those that you would like to be found under). Include all company names, major products and brands. Try not to edit the list too much at this stage and explore relevant tangents.
• Review your competition to see what they are using. Specifically look at the best performing sites in the search engine keyword categories that you would most like to target. You can get a good idea of the keywords being used by looking at the page titles in the browser or looking at the meta keywords contained in the HTML code of the site (Contained within the tags generally towards the top of the code). This can be seen by selecting view and then source from the browser menu or by right clicking on the page and selecting view source. Ethically it is considered extremely dirty pool to use your competitors names or brands directly in your SEO however legally this issue is a bit cloudy. My advice would be to not do it or risk becoming the test case that defines the law.
• Use the Overture keyword selector tool to test the popularity of listed keywords. This will reveal the number of searches done throughout the Overture network for the last month and enable you to rank your list of terms and phrases accordingly. It may also suggest some additional terms that you had not previously considered. www.c ontent.overture.com/d/USm/ac/index.jhtml
• Google Ad Words (http://adwords.google.com.au< /a>) also contains a keyword suggestion tool that can be useful in this process. Unfortunately you actually have to commence the sign up (and move through several screens) to actually get to use it, however you can always abort the sign up once you have found the information that you need before you are asked to commit.
• Using the above information shortlist a top 10 of primary target keywords. If possible list a further 10 as secondary keywords that can be used to a lesser degree throughout the site. Try to be specific to your target market as some keywords are highly competitive and can have multiple meanings that are not necessarily directly connected to your business. Also try to include a geographical locator. For example if you deal in car seat covers it would be better to target Car Accessories Melbourne rather than simply the generic keyword Cars.
Task 2 – Define your goals and ensure they are shared and have internal support. Make sure they are realistic.
As with any marketing endeavour it is dangerous to enter into any campaign unless you have a realistic target to work towards. It is also important that this target also has the broad support of the company as a whole. It is no good setting in place a program to boost online enquiries if the company doesn’t have the procedures in place to cope with them. Poorly managed a successful campaign to bring more customers to your site could have detrimental branding effects if they encounter poor customer service upon contacting the company.
Key questions:
• What would you consider a successful outcome? (Traffic numbers, leads/enquiries delivered, downloads made, pages read etc.. If possible define this quantitatively)
• Who is taking ownership to make sure that leads/enquiries are actioned promptly? All enquiries should end up with a live person capable of responding quickly (ie. The sales team not the network administrator). 24 hours later is not prompt service.
• Be prepared to experiment a little and to give it sufficient time to work or fail. Note that it can take up to three months for a search engine to fully catalogue and index your site. This should be the absolute minimum appraisal time.
Task 3 – Look at your current site. Be honest.
Attracting people to your site is the easy part. Getting them engaged enough to contact your sales team will depend upon their experience upon arriving at your site. The beauty of the web is that it theoretically allows everyone an equal footing, however a poorly thought out site is unlikely to convert those window shoppers that arrive on site into sales leads. Remember if they arrived via a search engine then a full listing of your competitors is only a back click away. Key questions:
• Are there any artificial barriers to entry on site? (eg. Long loading times for non broadband users, annoying splash pages and unnecessary transitional animations, confusing navigation etc..)
• Is there at least one call to action prominently displayed upon arrival at your site or must a visitor hunt around to find your contact form, email address, store location or phone number?
• Do you have at least 200 words of searchable text on the home page of your site? (If you can highlight the text with your mouse then it is searchable)
• Place yourself in the position of a potential customer. Would you be engaged enough by this site to make contact?
If your product/service offering is of sufficient quality then the online campaign has a chance of success. If not then at least you are failing on your merits.
Next installment: The cooking and the eating, the proof of the pudding after all
By: Tim Giles
About the Author:
Fri 16 Jan 2009
Re: The Clean Joke Contest & A Little Extra
Posted by echan76 under Comedy
[25] Comments
Garrison628 asked:
Wassup all….its under 9 minutes!!!!!!!
by 10 seconds….
Post who you anonymously Subscribe to….
GladLeft is a crazy cool guy! Very Funny…Check him out
GladiLeft:
http://www.YouTube.com/GladiLeft
