Clean Jokes

neilhiattcomedy asked:

My friend works at Nordstroms (It’s like the gap meets Macey’s) and the type of people who work there. Also Tanning is getting out of control!

Jj Kennedy asked:


If you know me personally, or have read my articles before, you know I am a goofball. There is nothing subtle about me or my sense of humor. I’m sure a psychoanalyst could write reams of data about what is wrong with me. I’m blatant, crude, way over the top, off-color, and often offensive.

But that is me and my blog, NOT my work as either a consultant or as a marketing executive in my previous life. Because my blog is personal (as I think all good ones should be) it is the genuine me, burrs and all.

However, when I am working with a client, the suit goes on, the language is toned down, and humor, which defines me as a person, is actually rarely used as a marketing vehicle at all. It kills me, but there are SO many pitfalls if used inappropriately, it is often just not worth the risk for a client.

Sometimes I get lucky and a client and their audience have a very similar tone and market as me. In that rare case, our marketing results are just off the charts, but those cases are few and far between.

Being a guy who places tremendous value in humor, I offer these 6 tips for using humor in your own marketing materials. Use at your own risk.

1. Be Genuine

There are many types of humor: Subtle, sarcastic, slapstick, off-color, clever, etc.

 What you need to figure out is which one you are. I am definitely the slapstick, off-color type. What can I say – I realize I am a large child, and fart jokes still crack me up. Compare that to Mikey, a good friend of mine (he hates when I call him that…It’s Mike, thank you.). He has a fantastic subtle sense of humor. He is the type that rarely pipes up, and you really have to pay attention; But, when he says something funny, it is obviously well thought out, and it always frigging kills me.

The point is that there is NO WAY I could pull off Mikey’s type of humor. Because I am so over the top 99% of the time, it would just get lost in the commotion. On the flip side, Mikey would look like a total idiot and loose all respect of people if he tried what I do. You can’t be quiet and mild mannered and then randomly start singing about your love of string cheese in the middle of the supermarket. It just don’t work.

 If you are going to use humor, make sure it is your real humor, and not what you think your audience wants. Nothing is more cringeworthy than a joke that receives dead silence. In almost every case it comes from poor delivery, which is usually the result of not feeling 100% comfortable and confident in what you are doing. It works the same way in marketing. If your humor does not match that of your audience, take my advice – Don’t use it.

 That was a super fancy segue into our next section if I do say so.

2. Know the audience…WELL

It is so super important to always know your audience when you are marketing. When using humor, it is doubly so. Not all people find the same things funny. Some type of humor (particularly mine) will even turn people away who would otherwise be customers. If your product or business paints it prospects with a broad brush, it is an absolute necessity that you niche out your segments if you want to try a shot a humor. Try your best not to let the segments cross paths.

Why? Because consensus humor is just not funny. If you try to make humor fit every audience, it will not fit ANY audience. If you have ever worked for a large corporation, you know that marketing creative is often brainstormed and approved by a group of marketing execs. I genuinely believe that that type of marketing usually sucks as it is so watered down to reach a consensus that it is also too watered down to earn a customer reaction. The same thing happens with humor.

3. Know how the audience views YOU

I have the luxury of hand picking my audience for my blogs and articles. I have built my sites from the ground up with the same tone and humor the entire time. If you like it, you stay, if not, you leave – and I’m totally cool with that.

 When you are working with another business, or as a representative for a business that is not an exact replica of you, this is not the case.

What you really need to figure out is how the audience views you. And that will tell you if the type of humor you are using fits. If your audience perceives you as a “subtle”, then they are probably following you because they are “subtles” too. That tells you that the humor needs to be subtle as well.

Going back to points 1 and 2, if you are not a “subtle” as well, you have two options:

Option 1:. Don’t use humor. or

Option 2: Find a Mikey with a great subtle sense of humor and let him lead the creative.

 

4. Take risks if you can

The key point of this is “if you can.” This really depends on your type of humor, how risky the material is, and how big the potential upside is.

Everybody knows that the bigger the risk, the bigger the return. I’m finding that out in great detail with my own blog. Whenever I post a article that is a bit offensive and off color, the traffic for those posts usually goes through the roof. My article called “Retards and the Chinese” is a perfect example of this. To sum up, I received a few angry posts and emails about my casual use of the word “retard.” The article that addressed those comments was designed specifically to push peoples buttons and provoke a response. And it really did. But, truth be told, I was biting my nails for the entire week after I posted it. I got lucky, but it could have been a disaster.

 The point is that it was a calculated risk. I knew that my audience base was predominately outspoken and thick skinned, so I figured they could take it. I was also very careful to turn the article sympathetic towards me after I ruffled everyone’s feathers. It worked well, but definitely took some time to get just right. I probably rewrote the closing paragraphs about 10 times.

5. Know when to say no

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point being a damn fool about it” – WC Fields

Sometimes humor is just not the right choice. Yes it is fun, yes it can produce fantastic results, but yes, it can also kill you if done wrong. If you find yourself on the negative side of any of the above tips, then just stop. It’s not worth it.

The key to humor is 100% confidence. If you are not true in your humor, if your audience is not into your humor, or if your audience image of you is not congruent with your humor, then your chances of success can not possibly outweigh the potential risks of using it.

Stick with the tried and true marketing vehicles that have worked for you in the past. They will not get the big results you are hoping for, but you won’t shoot yourself in the foot either.

Also, as a final caveat on know when to say no. Some things are just inherently not funny and should not be taken lightly. I wouldn’t recommend using humor under any circumstances to market when people have been injured physically or emotionally or are truly in need of help.

A great example that comes to mind is the recent Cash4Gold commercial that aired during the Super Bowl (I reviewed it and other ads on my blog recently). It starred Ed McMahon and MC Hammer pawning all their goods because they were broke. It was supposed to be funny. Not only did it not work, but it made me feel bad for the stars. If you think about the underlying context of WHY someone would be selling their stuff to a pawn shop and how desperate their situation must be, I think you would agree that there is nothing really funny about that.

6. Thicken your skin

Jokes flop. Even the best comedians will tell you that. If edgy, they will also offend some people. It’s gonna happen sooner or later. My final piece of advice is to grow a thick skin. Not everything will work the first time. As with stand up comedy, humor in marketing often takes a while to work out phrasing and timing.

At my site, I often push the edge on what is “professional.” After all, I am a serious and professional business person. I have a ton of real experience and have made a ton of real money. But that often does not jibe with the image I represent, especially on first impression.

Most people who stick around past the first article will usually become fans –loyal motivated fans – for a long time, but that does come at a price of losing a good percentage of visitors who just don’t get it or cannot get past the apparent professional/goofy disconnect.

That is a trade off I am willing to accept. I am 100% confident and 100% congruent to my personality on my site, so I can weather the comments and criticisms that I occasionally get. If I were not, I’m not sure I would be able to stomach someone truly thinking I am an idiot and what that might mean to my reputation.

I’ll end with a great quote that sums up a lot of what I do on my own site, and being the spaz I am, my general approach to humor. It’s simple, but says quite a bit.

 “I\’m not funny. What I am is brave. “ – Lucille Ball Stay Cool. JJ  

 

 

 

Raymond Lee asked:


Why don’t we laugh more often? Mainly because we have learned not to. Parents and teachers spend a good deal of time telling children, “ Wipe that smile off your face”; “Get serious”; “Settle down”; and “Stop acting silly.” In addition, laughter requires both spontaneity and surrender of control. As people become adults, they place a good deal of value on self-control and often feel ambivalent about spontaneity. But a mature adult should also understand the need for levity now and then. When Steven Spielberg was filming the holocaust movie Schindler’s list, he became so saddened by his subject that a few times a week while on location in Poland, he called comedian Robin Williams and asked him to run through some stand-up routines. If you have a particularly funny friend, you might do the same, but if not, tickle your funny bone with the help of these tips and suggestions.

1. Encourage Laughter

Encourage others to laugh. Mirth is contagious.

2. Look Out For Absurdities

Keep an eye out for the absurdities of everyday of your life. Amusing quips and situations happen all the time. If you look for them, you will find them.

3. Give Gifts

Instead of flowers or food, give sick friends humorous gifts. Try a joke book, a comedy video or a few gag items.

4. Know Your Audience

Humor is individual. Psychology Today magazine once published 30 jokes and asked readers if they found them funny. More than 140,000 readers from all over the map replied. Every joke was rated “very funny” by some readers and “not all funny” by others. In the words of comedian Henny Youngman, “ Humor is a form of communication understood by some and misunderstood by most.”

5. Develop A Humor First-Aid Kit

Keep a funny book or tape close at hand and dip into it several times a day. Wear humorous buttons and post cartoons, amusing bumper stickers and other witty items where you live, work and play.

6. Laugh At Yourself

Those without a sense of humor, once quipped, can be very funny. Of course, they do not mean to be, and when people begin laughing, those who are unintentionally funny may become embarrassed, self-conscious or insulted. If this happens to you, try to step outside yourself and see your gaffe the way your audience sees it. Laugh at yourself and people laugh with you, not at you.

7. Keep It Tasteful

Do not poke fun at anyone’s race, ethnic group, gender, weight, occupation or anything else that might be offensive. Also avoid sarcasm and ridicule. If there has to be a butt of the joke, target yourself or some inanimate object.

jerryemtiv asked:

Jerry is a comedian who does clean jokes, and gets most of his jokes from his family of 3 brothers, 6 sisters, an American Indian Father, and Italian Mother.

IC asked:


Humor is an essential part of our lives, is as necessary as all other fuzzy emotions such as love, anger, etc. It dictates how comfortable we feel at our workplace, with a person we just met and how much money we make (in some cases!). The truth is that without humor we are as good as dead. Humor brightens our day and changes our entire perspective about our daily routines in a second. Yes, that’s the power of humor, it is so big that the entertainment industry is currently is above the real estate market (as far as earnings), but don’t take my word for it, look it up!. A decent comedian in comedy central makes more money than a mortgage broker without having all the work related stress.

Now that we have established that humor is great, an important part of our lives and big business, lets start by analyzing the way humor affects our daily life. If you have a desk job, work within a big corporation, are in sales, etc. you have probably noticed that once in a while there comes a person who with just a few words brightens your day, or there is a co-worker you just can’t imagine being without, no, I’m not talking about being in love, we are referring to humor.

It is a fact that most of the people (91.3% actually) who find a job boring, will end up leaving it in less than 3 months. That is just terrible from an employer’s point of view, they loose money by training new employees every few months. Employers and most companies know this, that is why we often hear, “A company name, the best place to work at”, or during the recruitment process we hear “Our company is a leader of this rapidly growing market and offers a fun environment to work at”. What statements like that usually mean is you’ll be buried in paperwork and running around all day long, but off course some people like to work hard so they are the 1% exception. There is nothing funny about jobs like that but they have to advertise it that way to get people interested.

Every now and then, we come across certain individuals who overcame their environment or simply have a different perspective of life who break the ice with a funny sentence, others simply try to memorize jokes and funny quotes, but when they forget about a critical line of the joke they crash and burn, they know it and so does everybody else but people end up laughing because of “social respect”.

For instance, don’t you feel a bit awkward every time someone who you know, is not a good at telling jokes, and this person constantly tries to break the ice with his/her less than funny jokes?, it has happened to me and everyone. I just wish that for once I wouldn’t be the one saying the bad jokes!.

Not everyone has joke telling talents, and that’s OK. But people who know don’t have such talent shouldn’t attempt stunts like these in public. There are many comedians I can reference to but I’ll quote Ronald Reagan (Yeah, the president). Regardless of his highly stressful occupation (and age), he was a “mentally hilarious” person who knew how to deliver a good-funny line at the right moment. For example:

- When asked by a reporter what kind of Governor he would be (back in 1966), he answered “I don’t know. I’ve never played a governor.”

- When he was asked about the deficit the country was going through he said “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”

- When asked about the Government views on economy, instead of talking about foreign exchange markets, interests, war etc. he said “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

- Or, “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”

As you see by these few examples show that being funny has nothing to do with lengthy jokes, its all about delivery and honest but simple lines, an average person can understand. By average I mean 93.4% of the population.

Learning how to use irony, juxtaposition and delivery can set you apart from the rest of the boring people, so help change the world for the best.

By the way, did you know that over 95% of all statistics are made up in the spot?; you might just want to keep that in mind!.

theradbradshow asked:

Episode 13 of “The Radical Brad Show”. In this Episode Brad talks about how the news media is making a big deal about Jessica Simpson gaining a little weight. He also comments about the grandmother of the newborn Octuplets, who stated that her daughter was obsessed with having kids. He also asks for your Super Bowl Pick and the Point Spread and will broadcast the winner of the ‘Just for Entertainment” contest after the game.

Joe B asked:


i was wondering if you could come up with funny jokes. i am a funny guy when around my friends with dirty jokes, but when i try to come up with funny clean jokes i can’t. Help.

Lynn Powers asked:


With April Fools day the first of the month, it’s no wonder April has been named National Humor month. Personally, I love it. Anything designed to make me laugh is fine with me! I say, bring on the humor!

Research shows that children laugh a whopping 400 times per day while the number of times adults engage in some type of laughter or humorous situation is a mere 15. No wonder Jesus told us to “be like little children.” He wants us to laugh more!

Not only is laughing just plain fun, it’s good for you! There have been many scientific reports on the benefits of laughter, but we don’t need science to tell us that. The Bible has been informing us for thousands of years. As it says in Proverbs 17:22, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” (NIV)

Here are some ways laughing is beneficial for both physical and mental health:

PHYSICAL BENEFITS

? It’s good for your Heart – When you laugh, you’re taking your insides for a jog. In fact, some research has shown that a good belly laugh is equivalent to several minutes on a stationary bike or rowing machine. Besides exercising your abdomen and diaphragm, you’re also giving your back and facial muscles an aerobic workout.

? Lowers Blood Pressure. It seems that many people with high blood pressure are often tense and serious. But lightening up a bit by laughing can lower that number. This isn’t to say you should trade in your blood pressure medication for a stack of comedy DVD’s. But laughing sends oxygen enriched blood and nutrients through your system which will certainly help to bring those numbers down even more.

? Boosts Immune System. Laughter produces antibody-producing cells that help to keep you healthy. Laughing continuously during flu season, then, is a great idea!

MENTAL BENEFITS

? Relaxation. Laughing relaxes all of your muscles, releasing pent-up tension from your body. Try it after a particularly tense-filled day at work or home.

? Distraction from Pain. If you’re experiencing pain, laughter can help to take your mind off your circumstances and provide some temporary relief. In fact, it can even reduce the actual pain because laughing releases endorphins that are just as effective as equivalent doses of morphine!

? Improves Thinking Skills. When you laugh, both sides of your brain are affected. This improves comprehension and your ability to learn, which suggests that kids who laugh a lot will do better in school. Engage your child in a tickling session every evening. It just may be the thing you’re looking for to see your child’s grades improve!

? Reduces Stress. Laughter boosts serotonin which, in turn, can ward off depression and anxiety or simply help to lift your spirits and turn around a bad mood.

So the more you laugh, the healthier you’ll be and the better you’ll feel. The best part is that laughter is contagious. If you have a hard time finding things to laugh about, hang around with funny people or those who you see laughing a lot throughout the day. Soon you’ll find yourself laughing along and reaping the benefits that come with it.

talentnetworknews asked:

Auggie Cook is a nationally touring stand-up comedian who has appeared on ABC-TV and A&E. He has worked with many well-known comedians, including Howie Mandel, Drew Carey, Robert Klein, Chris Rock, George Wallace and Rick Rockwell. His quick wit, clean jokes, easy style and hilarious songs have been making audiences laugh for over 11 years. He has appeared at major comedy clubs, colleges, private parties, corporate functions and dive bars across the country. His first comedy/music CD was …

Gerry Hopman asked:


Too many people suffer from chronic seriousitis these days. It shows up in the stren faces, furrowed brows, bad hair days, impatience, up-tight behavior, and loss of persective.

We need tp lighten up! We take ourselves way too serious with disastrous effects to our personal health and wellness. We need to recognize that laughter truly is ‘the best medicine.’

What most of us don’t realize is that by not laughing, we miss out on many health benefits. A good laugh massages face, shoulders and stomach muscles, reduces blood pressure, increases oxygen flow, boosts the immune system, and casues a reduction in stress-inducing chemicals.

Research has shown that laughter works faster than Valium or vodka. The benefits from a good belly laugh can last up to 24 hours. Dr. William Fry, a lughter pioneer researcher found that 30 seconds of hearty laughter equals a three minute physical workout on a rowing machine.

You don’t even need a reason to laugh, even fake laughter is good for you. Thousands of ‘Laughter Clubs’ have sprung up all over the world practicing fake laughter with the same benfits as derived from real laughter.

With the downturn of the economy and the increase of personal stresses, it is important to remember that humor and laughter are powerful stress busters. It is impossible to be stressed when laughing. Laughter provides an instant vacation from our stress,

Humor and laughter clear our minds, so that we can think more clearly and become more creative in resolving our problems. Humor helps us cope with difficult time and situations. It is a known fact that there was more humor created during Worl War Two than any other time in history.

Humor and laughter help to reduce conflict and faciltate easier communication. They quickly help lower the barriers and ease connection with people.. This is a tremendous asset for people caught up in the negative effects of the economy, when having tp pusue other avenues of employment.

Humor and laughter are available to each and everyone of us and at no cost, however, they still remain the most underrated and undervalued tools in society.