Pd asked:


A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she Turned to him and said
“I hope I haven’t made you feel uncomfortable – it’s just that you look so much like my late son.”
“Oh, that’s ok,” he said.
“I know it’s silly,” she continued, “but if you called out ‘Goodbye, Mother’ as I leave, it would make me ever so happy.”
The old lady proceeded through the checkout and the man said called out “Goodbye Mother.” The old lady waved Back& smiled.
Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone’s day, the man went to pay for his groceries.
“That’ll be 105 dollars,” said the clerk.
“How come?” inquired the man. “I’ve only bought a few things!”
“Yeah, but your mother said you’d pay for her…”
End of this week in this middle east country, hence by 2 all… have a nice weekend

coke freak asked:


i really like jokes i need some new ones if any body has any clean jokes pls tell and any good joke sites please tell ty

coke freak

Sasha asked:


I would like to lose 100lbs as soon as possible. I’ve already lost 40lbs by just dieting, and i’d like to start attending a gym to boost physical fitness and hopefully shed more pounds. I’m in the New York area, and would like to know what gym’s are offering the best deals. Please – no Jenny Craig, or LA weightloss etc…
And no fat jokes.
I would rather opinions from real women or men, since many gym websites don’t offer rates.

Milan Kovacevic asked:


 

Work is often associated with stress, and we know that stress is one of the main causes of illness, absenteeism, and burnout. Humor is a great stress reliever because it makes us feel good, and we can’t feel good and feel stress simultaneously.  At the moment we experience humor, feelings like depression, anger, and anxiety dissolve.

Humor and, its partner, laughter also reduce stress by activating the physiological systems including the muscular, respiratory, cardiovascular, and skeletal. In fact, we may even lose muscle control, as many of us have, when we laugh so hard that we fall down or wet our pants. Laughter has been labeled a jogging and juggling of the internal organs. When we laugh we feel physically better, and after laughter we feel lighter and more relaxed.

In addition, humor provides a psychological stress reducer as it snaps our thinking to another channel. Norman Cousins called it trainwrecks of the mind. One of the characteristics of humor is that it involves incongruity. We find things humorous when they are incongruous or mismatched. Good jokes guide us down one path only to suddenly track us onto another. The tracking is what we call the punch line. As we are tracked over, our thinking shifts and, in fact, breaking the mind set of the thinking leads to increased creativity.

Consider the story of the midwestern farmer crossing Harvard square searching for the library. He approaches a stately looking gentleman, who happens to be a Harvard English professor, and he asks, “Excuse me sir. Can you tell me where the library is at?” The professor looks somewhat disdainfully and replies, “At Harvard we do not end sentences with prepositions.” After a pause the farmer turns back to the professor and asks, “Well then, can you tell me where the library is at…Asshole.” In this joke we are guided down one path and suddenly tracked over to another. The incongruity is what we experience as humorous.

We know that all good lecturers have many jokes, stories, and anecdotes that are shared in order to command attention and energize the audience. Humor wakes us up and increases our attending. An office bulletin board loaded with cartoons, one liners, jokes, pictures, etc. is one way to invite humor into the workplace. A few moments of humor at work can lead to increased productivity as the newly energized employee returns to his or her task.

If you are having a bad day and would like to brighten it up, all you might have to do is to read a joke a funny story.  There are plenty of resources on the web, including humor blogs, Digg-Humor, Funny-Or-Die and Fun’N’Love.

Humor is a major career asset, so let’s be serious about humor and use humor to lighten our seriousness in the workplace. As we increase our personal humor quotient and spread our humor contagiously to others, we will begin to see the “lite” at the end of the tunnel.

 



jokesrealm asked:


JokesRealm.com – Your online portal to humor, clean jokes, funny pictures, brain teasers, riddles, illusions and much more!

storiesbyJoyce asked:


Joyce and her brother Casey read some jokes from……. Biggest Riddle Book in the World by Joseph Rosenbloom Revolting Jokes for Kids by Bounty Books

stickmanstewy asked:


A neighbor was watching a little boy playing with a ball and bat in his backyard. “I’m the greatest hitter in the world” the boy exclaimed as he threw the ball into the air. He swung with all his might but missed the ball and fell down himself. “Strike One” he says as he gets up. He throws it up again and swings. Again the ball falls to the ground with a thud. “Strike Two” he yells still undeterred. “I’m the greatest” he says as he swings once again hitting only air as the ball falls to the ground. This time he dances around the backyard as he yells “Strike Three…. I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”

mccamel1666 asked:


I’m looking for a few jokes that don’t offend anyone and that are clean for my Oral Interpersonal class. The teacher would like jokes that don’t offend anyone. Do you know any or any websites that would have something like that??? I know www.cleanjokes.com has some but I need more sources!! Thanks!!

American Princess asked:


do you know of any? he’s gay and i have the keys to his apartment. I left him small size confetti on his carpet once..he still hasn’t gotten rid of it…he moved my living room to my bedroom and my bedroom to the living room! now, i need to get him back!
help?

Wain Roy asked:


“Laughter is the medicine.” However clichéd this might sound there’s no denying the truth of the statement. More often than not, we come across people who are over-stressed, hardly having the urge even to force a smile. In most cases, people do realize the need for refreshing humor, which would take away the burden of their stressful lives and fill them with fresh energy. But unfortunately, they lack sufficient time to venture out of their homes with the sole motive of entertaining themselves. Thankfully, the Internet has a lot of scope for those who feel the urge to chill out and have a bite of quick humor just at the click of a mouse!

Analyzing the current scenario, there has been a major upsurge in the number of funny videos and funny pictures over the Internet. There are numerous video blogging sites hosting funny video clips or pictures for people to have a hearty laugh. The success of You Tube.com has clearly revealed the inclination of people towards humor. So what accounts for the sudden rise in the popularity of these funny videos and pictures? A close observation of the trend might lead us to trace the psychological workings of the people’s minds at large.

To begin with, it’s not always the hunt for instant humor that can be held responsible for the rising popularity of fun-oriented websites. The visual appeal of funny videos is a major source of attraction, drawing the attention of a majority of people. The fact that things presented visually have a greater appeal can hardly be negated. Even movies, inspired from bestsellers, gain much more popularity than their original counterpart; the reason being the way in which they appeal to the eyes. If humor is sought as a pastime, it would not be conceivable for most of us to read books on wit and humor. This, of course, depends on a person’s taste but as commonly observed, reading becomes an even more remote possibility when one takes into consideration the numerous entertainment options available on the Internet.

Nevertheless, momentary humor remains the USP of sites hosting funny pictures and videos. Most of these videos feature some light moments shared with our family, friends, or colleagues. Out of them, funny videos of babies and kids are really a treat to watch. These moments of joy fill our hearts with warmth and allow us to unwind our spirits, thus healing our stressful souls.

With the Internet industry hugely inclined towards videos, funny videos have fast turned out to be a huge rage. There is no dearth of people hunting for some quick comic relief online. So, be it funny pictures or videos, the appeal never seems to fag out!



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