clement p asked:
well i’m looking for some funny jokes for weddings, annual dinners, party hoppers etc. do u have any suggestions??
xXxLauri3xXx asked:
Funny Clean Jokes
supermk342 asked: I’m always looking for some funny, CLEAN jokes. Do you guys have any you wanna share? And I’ll award best answer on the person who gives the funniest, cleanest jokes with some other random thoughts in there too.
IC asked:
Humor is an essential part of our lives, is as necessary as all other fuzzy emotions such as love, anger, etc. It dictates how comfortable we feel at our workplace, with a person we just met and how much money we make (in some cases!). The truth is that without humor we are as good as dead. Humor brightens our day and changes our entire perspective about our daily routines in a second. Yes, that’s the power of humor, it is so big that the entertainment industry is currently is above the real estate market (as far as earnings), but don’t take my word for it, look it up!. A decent comedian in comedy central makes more money than a mortgage broker without having all the work related stress.
Now that we have established that humor is great, an important part of our lives and big business, lets start by analyzing the way humor affects our daily life. If you have a desk job, work within a big corporation, are in sales, etc. you have probably noticed that once in a while there comes a person who with just a few words brightens your day, or there is a co-worker you just can’t imagine being without, no, I’m not talking about being in love, we are referring to humor.
It is a fact that most of the people (91.3% actually) who find a job boring, will end up leaving it in less than 3 months. That is just terrible from an employer’s point of view, they loose money by training new employees every few months. Employers and most companies know this, that is why we often hear, “A company name, the best place to work at”, or during the recruitment process we hear “Our company is a leader of this rapidly growing market and offers a fun environment to work at”. What statements like that usually mean is you’ll be buried in paperwork and running around all day long, but off course some people like to work hard so they are the 1% exception. There is nothing funny about jobs like that but they have to advertise it that way to get people interested.
Every now and then, we come across certain individuals who overcame their environment or simply have a different perspective of life who break the ice with a funny sentence, others simply try to memorize jokes and funny quotes, but when they forget about a critical line of the joke they crash and burn, they know it and so does everybody else but people end up laughing because of “social respect”.
For instance, don’t you feel a bit awkward every time someone who you know, is not a good at telling jokes, and this person constantly tries to break the ice with his/her less than funny jokes?, it has happened to me and everyone. I just wish that for once I wouldn’t be the one saying the bad jokes!.
Not everyone has joke telling talents, and that’s OK. But people who know don’t have such talent shouldn’t attempt stunts like these in public. There are many comedians I can reference to but I’ll quote Ronald Reagan (Yeah, the president). Regardless of his highly stressful occupation (and age), he was a “mentally hilarious” person who knew how to deliver a good-funny line at the right moment. For example:
- When asked by a reporter what kind of Governor he would be (back in 1966), he answered “I don’t know. I’ve never played a governor.”
- When he was asked about the deficit the country was going through he said “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”
- When asked about the Government views on economy, instead of talking about foreign exchange markets, interests, war etc. he said “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
- Or, “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”
As you see by these few examples show that being funny has nothing to do with lengthy jokes, its all about delivery and honest but simple lines, an average person can understand. By average I mean 93.4% of the population.
Learning how to use irony, juxtaposition and delivery can set you apart from the rest of the boring people, so help change the world for the best.
By the way, did you know that over 95% of all statistics are made up in the spot?; you might just want to keep that in mind!.
Joe B asked:
i was wondering if you could come up with funny jokes. i am a funny guy when around my friends with dirty jokes, but when i try to come up with funny clean jokes i can’t. Help.
Seriously though… asked: So I LOVE laughing and telling jokes, sometimes the Chesseier the better!! PLease keep it clean but i would love to hear some jokes!
This is my absolute favorite joke ever… enjoy!
SO there are two muffins in an oven, one turns to the other and says “Man, its HOT in here…” and the other muffin replies “AHHH… A talking muffin!!!!!”
*Gurl_Trouble* asked: i’m making my own diary kinda like a slam book and i’m filling it with jokes, autographs, questions and my pictures. i havent goe enough jokes so you have any clean not dirty jokes.
remember jokes are meant to be funny!!!!
tapmadi asked: Im looking to send out text messages but they need to be truck / lorry orientaed funny clean jokes anybody got some –
1 have is A lorry was hijacked on the M4 today and 20 cases of viagra were stolen. Police say they’re looking for a gang of hardened criminals – (mabye to rude for some)
cleaner than that please
Kamber F asked:
me and my friends always tell jokes at lunch but we’re pretty much out of funny ones. THEY HAVE TO BE CLEAN THO! If you r questioning if its clean or not dont submit it!!!
Shauna H asked:
does anyone know any websites that actually have FUNNY clean jokes for my tv production class?
