Entries tagged with “Jokes And Humor”.


IC asked:


Humor is an essential part of our lives, is as necessary as all other fuzzy emotions such as love, anger, etc. It dictates how comfortable we feel at our workplace, with a person we just met and how much money we make (in some cases!). The truth is that without humor we are as good as dead. Humor brightens our day and changes our entire perspective about our daily routines in a second. Yes, that’s the power of humor, it is so big that the entertainment industry is currently is above the real estate market (as far as earnings), but don’t take my word for it, look it up!. A decent comedian in comedy central makes more money than a mortgage broker without having all the work related stress.

Now that we have established that humor is great, an important part of our lives and big business, lets start by analyzing the way humor affects our daily life. If you have a desk job, work within a big corporation, are in sales, etc. you have probably noticed that once in a while there comes a person who with just a few words brightens your day, or there is a co-worker you just can’t imagine being without, no, I’m not talking about being in love, we are referring to humor.

It is a fact that most of the people (91.3% actually) who find a job boring, will end up leaving it in less than 3 months. That is just terrible from an employer’s point of view, they loose money by training new employees every few months. Employers and most companies know this, that is why we often hear, “A company name, the best place to work at”, or during the recruitment process we hear “Our company is a leader of this rapidly growing market and offers a fun environment to work at”. What statements like that usually mean is you’ll be buried in paperwork and running around all day long, but off course some people like to work hard so they are the 1% exception. There is nothing funny about jobs like that but they have to advertise it that way to get people interested.

Every now and then, we come across certain individuals who overcame their environment or simply have a different perspective of life who break the ice with a funny sentence, others simply try to memorize jokes and funny quotes, but when they forget about a critical line of the joke they crash and burn, they know it and so does everybody else but people end up laughing because of “social respect”.

For instance, don’t you feel a bit awkward every time someone who you know, is not a good at telling jokes, and this person constantly tries to break the ice with his/her less than funny jokes?, it has happened to me and everyone. I just wish that for once I wouldn’t be the one saying the bad jokes!.

Not everyone has joke telling talents, and that’s OK. But people who know don’t have such talent shouldn’t attempt stunts like these in public. There are many comedians I can reference to but I’ll quote Ronald Reagan (Yeah, the president). Regardless of his highly stressful occupation (and age), he was a “mentally hilarious” person who knew how to deliver a good-funny line at the right moment. For example:

- When asked by a reporter what kind of Governor he would be (back in 1966), he answered “I don’t know. I’ve never played a governor.”

- When he was asked about the deficit the country was going through he said “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”

- When asked about the Government views on economy, instead of talking about foreign exchange markets, interests, war etc. he said “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

- Or, “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”

As you see by these few examples show that being funny has nothing to do with lengthy jokes, its all about delivery and honest but simple lines, an average person can understand. By average I mean 93.4% of the population.

Learning how to use irony, juxtaposition and delivery can set you apart from the rest of the boring people, so help change the world for the best.

By the way, did you know that over 95% of all statistics are made up in the spot?; you might just want to keep that in mind!.



Ironic, yes, that is what some would say to the boundaries applied by a woman on their spouses or partners. A woman, though she tries to hold fast against any onslaught by a member of the male species that defines her in a traditional role, is just as likely to fall into these same roles by herself.

What Will You Find Here?

You will not find her anything but jokes and humor that slightly stereotype the female species of mankind, but all of these are posted here with the best of intentions. None of these are meant to degrade women or to put them down in any way.

Noted below are some funny and idiomatic behavioral traits demonstrated by women when coming in contact with partners of the opposite sex.

1) A woman can ask her man whether she has put on weight. But, there is only one answer to this question.

2) A woman loves to put down her own family. But, her partner may never agree or take part.

3) A woman also likes to put down the family of her partner. But, if he does not agree, then, he is blind.

4) When the partner does not clean up, it is because he is lazy. But, if the woman does not clean up after her, it is because she is tired.

5) If her partner does not like how things are going, he can go and get divorced. But, on the other hand, only the woman is allowed to think such thoughts.

6) Her partner should stop yelling at the children. But, the children have also to stop causing the woman to yell at them so much.

7) Why is it such a big deal for the partner to make coffee for the woman? But, on the other hand, if the partner asks, the woman retorts back that she is not his slave.

8) When the partner does not respond, the woman shouts and asks him to do so. But when he does, the woman shouts and asks him to shut up.

9) A woman complains against her partner who does not give in when the matter is important to her. But, on the other hand, every matter and incident is important to the woman.

10) When the partner buys something, he is wasting money. But, when the woman purchases something, it is because she only lives once.

11) The partner does not know how to say sorry. The woman does, but, it is just that there is never a reason to say it.

12) The partner has got to nurture the relationship. But, on the other hand, the woman is tired and needs her beauty sleep.

Conclusion:

A woman is infinitely more beautiful, encouraging, entertaining, wonderful and humane than a man will ever be. But, women have their own particular peculiarities too, and some of these have been pointed out in the above eleven female secrets of being.

Caution:

Characterizing someone, even if it is very politically incorrect, is not my intent, and this article is meant for laughs alone, so please treat it accordingly.



By: Sharon Gerad

About the Author:

Sharon Gerad is a wife and mother of two, and appraises online casinos for http://www.gambling-portal and other poker rooms and bingo halls too.



mobileclc asked:


The Funny Paper is a specialty advertising monthly of clean jokes and humor, distributed free in customer and patient waiting rooms in Mobile, Alabama and nationally. (www.thefunnypaper.net)